Dave Selby is the proud owner of a 5.48m (18ft)
Sailfish, which he keeps on a swinging mooring
Mad about the boat on the picturesque Blackwater estuary in EssexDave Selby
“Never mind the strange smell, just
look at those marvellous cushions!”I
f you’ve been paying any attention
at all to my exhaustive cut-out-and-
throw-away series on everything to
do with boats, your recycling bin
will now be full and you’ll be fairly
good at golf. Failing that, you may
actually have bought a boat. If that’s the
case I’m sorry, but I cannot be held
personally liable for the fact that you
totally misunderstood last month’s
episode all about acquiring a boat of
your own. Nowhere did I say that you
should actually get one.
However, if you have bought a boat in
the last three weeks, it’s only natural that
you will by now be thinking of selling it to
buy the one you really wanted. This is
something I can help with, as part nine of
my six-part guide covers everything you
need to know about selling your boat, and
a lot less besides.
It goes without saying that through
shrewd judgement and a little good
fortune the boat you’ve just acquired turns
out to be worth a great deal more than
you paid for it, and also a great deal more
than any other of the same type, owing to
its superior specification and overall
outstanding condition, along with the
non-standard layout featuring cosy 3ft
6in-long berths, all the extra holes drilledinto the bulkheads and complete
inventory of matching personalised
melamine crockery, non-slip place mats
and a ‘Rules of the Road’ tea-towel
embroidered with the boat’s name... plus
a very high-quality bucket. Fortuitously,
the structural survey you commissioned
completely overlooked these vital items of
yachting equipment that contribute
substantially to the value of any yacht.
Next up you’ll need
to establish the true
market value of your
yacht, and as with
most things to do
with yachting there’s
a simple formula for
this based on the
square root of
waterline length, Thames measurement
(net not gross) and the angle of vanishing
stability. For non-Yachtmaster Theory
types an easier way to arrive at the correct
figure is simply to double what you paid
for your yacht; alternatively, lick a finger
and hold it to the wind while looking
thoughtful. Any of these methods will
produce a precisely correct co-efficient of
vanishing reality, or sanity times four, as
it’s known in the trade.
Now marketing, and here it’s worthTrue market value
Accurately valuing your ‘previously enjoyed’
boat is the key to a successful sale
taking tips from the professionals who sell
new boats at shows. This is their golden
rule. First and foremost, you need to go to
Ikea. Cushions sell boats. And on a
‘previously enjoyed’ boat the number of
cushions required will depend on the
number of stains on the upholstery and
drill holes you need to cover.
Next, you need to place a vase of
flowers on the saloon table, or screw one
to a bulkhead using the pre-existing drill
holes designed for that purpose.
Now, as all professionals know, a boat is
an emotive purchase, and on new boats
the emotional experience is greatly
enhanced by the heady scent of
glassfibre releasing agents which can
induce tears. On a pre-owned boat, such
as yours, try a generous spritz of aerosol
releasing agent to evoke that factory-fresh
out-of-the-mould aroma that masks the
smell of mildew, mushrooms, fungus,
decay, diesel, soggy carpet, neglect and- ahem – sanitary arrangements.
Whatever your boat it also helps to
underline its blue-water credentials by
screwing a brass plaque inscribed with
‘Antigua Rally 2003’ to the bulkhead.
Holes will already be in place where the
previous owner removed his ‘Rutland
Water 1978’ plaque.
A final flourish is one of the all-time
tip-top boat show tips. To emphasise what
a fastidious owner you are ask prospective
buyers to remove their shoes before
boarding, or even better, provide them
with those weird elasticated overshoe
socky things. These are available free
from all good boat shows where you can
also on occasion upgrade your sailing
shoes for free, because some people
don’t like the look of the overshoes
and prefer to
inspect a boat in
stockinged feet.
Then, in anticipation
of a speedy sale,
remove the high-
quality bucket that
came with the boat for
use on your new boat.
Now all you need is a sales professional.
These are called brokers... for several
reasons. If it’s the broker who also sold
you your boat three weeks earlier they will
explain that it’s now worth half that, as
“the market’s not what it was”. Other
brokers will concur. Of course, to avoid
feeling broker you could simply enjoy your
boat for what it is, remove the cushions
and let your dog ravage them at home.
Finally, put the high-quality bucket back
on board.
Underline its blue-water
credentials by screwing
a brass plaque inscribed
with ‘Antigua Rally 2003’
to the bulkhead
16 Practical Boat Owner • http://www.pbo.co.uk