126 chapter
I have been coming to Chottanikkara for the last six years now. I came here because
of the chaitanyam [power/consciousness] and blessing of the Devi [the goddess] at
Chottanikkara. I started sitting for worship. From then until now, I haven’t been to
the “hospital.” I have no problem at all. I came here, and Devi changed everything
in me. So I have been getting aiśvaryam [wealth/glory] and abhivriddhi [prosper-
ity] continuously. Because of that blessing, I will be here forever.When someone depicts their experiences in healing or medical treatment,
we do not expect exuberant descriptions. Th e stories of “healing” encountered
in Kerala were not usually exuberant and often recalled incremental changes or
complete remediation, for the time being, but “healing” can involve something
more. What some people in Kerala said they accomplished through healing was
not just a ridding or reduction of a problem but, as Lakshmi describes here, an
attainment of a state that is somehow higher and more vibrant than one’s origin al,
pre-illness state. Not only does Lakshmi say she no longer has a problem, she
claims to have gained “prosperity” and the “blessing” of Devi. While patients
of allopathy say that they got good “relief ” or became “completely healthy,” a
number of informants who used religious therapy recalled their experience with
enthusiasm and nostalgia and described undergoing a positive transformation.
Like allopathic patients, ayurvedic patients generally spoke of returning to a
state of health or simply getting some relief, although a few say they attained
an enhanced state of health. When Lakshmi says “I will be here forever,” she is
expressing her intention to keep returning to Chottanikkara, or she may simply
mean she will always feel connected to the temple in some way. Lakshmi lives
in a neighboring district of Kerala, and her family visits Chottanikkara once a
month. Lakshmi recalled the fi rst time she encountered Devi at Chottanikkara:
Th e fi rst time I saw Devi, I had come here before. I came, and I left after only
doing tozhuka [adoring the deity with hands together at the chest in traditional
namaskāram greeting pose]. I had not sat for worship like this. Th e fi rst time I
came here to sit for worship, many wonders were worked on me. Th e reason is,
fi rst, people came here with the same illnesses. I did not understand what it was.
After some time, when we sat there, it felt like something was leaving our body.
It cured/changed [māri] all our uneasiness. We were changing in our selves.^16Th en Rajan joined the conversation to ask Lakshmi about the fi rst time she
became possessed:
Rajan: How was it when you “fi rst” got possessed [tullāl]?Lakshmi: Th e “fi rst” time I got possessed, I felt like I was being tied up.