to demand
The Stamp Act exacted from the colonists taxes they could not afford to pay. So
they “X’d” the act.
exigent
urgent; requiring immediate attention
It is exigent that I find a sexy gent to escort me to the prom.
excessively demanding; excessively exacting
I made exigent demands on my fairy godmother to find me a debonair prom date
and a diaphanous dress.
Essay on Eggplant
I want to know which erudite vegetable maker invented eggplant. If he is dead, I
will efface the epitaph from his tombstone. If he is alive, I will ensure he will not
be eulogized when he dies. Eggplant is the epitome of bad vegetables and its
destruction is exigent. I eschew eating it. This is an exacting demand, but would
someone please edify me, without being esoteric or equivocal, as to one good
thing about eggplant? It is mushy, it has seeds, it makes my tongue itch, and it
has a dopey name. I wish all the soil on the world’s eggplant farms would erode.
Oh, and get this—when eggplants fertilize each other, the round ones with lots of
seeds are the female ones and the long, narrow ones are the males. (No
euphemism can soften this picture.) And they do it in public, in front of all the
other vegetables. What would happen if humans emulated this behavior?
The end.
F
fabricate
to make something; to invent or make up something (often in order to
deceive)
When Michael couldn’t remove the stain from the fabric, he ate it and fabricated
a story that aliens stole it.
facet