Example:
The more you study for the SAT, the more one thinks about moving to Mongolia.
This sentence starts with the pronoun you, and then ends with the pronoun
one. This is inconsistent. If there are ever two different pronouns in a sentence,
they should refer to different subjects/objects. (Example: The more he watches
TV, the more she yells at him for being lazy.)
However, in this sentence, you and one refer to the same person. It does not
make sense that there are two pronouns in reference to the same subject. It
should be either:
The more you study for the SAT, the more you think about moving to Mongolia.
or:
The more one studies for the SAT, the more one thinks about moving to
Mongolia.
COMMANDMENT 5: ENSURE THAT THY TENSE MAKES SENSE.
The time of action needs to make sense across a sentence. Look for key “time
words” such as when, while, as, after, and so forth, and read the sentence aloud
to make sure the time line checks out.
Example 1:
After he ate the newt and brushed his teeth, I will kiss him.
The problem here is that the verbs ate and brushed happened in the past,
whereas will kiss is going to happen in the future. Change it to either:
After he eats the newt and brushes his teeth, I will kiss him.
or:After he ate the newt and brushed his teeth, I kissed him.