COLONS: A BIT THORNIER THAN SEMICOLONS, BUT NOT GROUNDS FOR FREAKING
OUT
Just like the colon in our bodies, the grammatical colon has a few jobs. It always
follows an independent clause, and it can introduce a list, an explanation, or an
explanatory quotation.
Example 1: Introducing a list.
There are a few things I will not eat: pigeons, haggis, fish eyes, and salad.
Example 2: Introducing an explanation.
And here’s the reason why: These are all gross foods.
Example 3: Introducing an explanatory quote.
I live by the following mantra: “Do not digest that which disgusts!”
There are two ways the Serpent will try to trick you with colons. Most often,
it will use a comma instead of a colon. Like so:
Incorrect: I brought everything to the beach, my sunblock, my sun hat, my
novel, my couch and bed, my dinette set, and my refrigerator.
Correct: I brought everything to the beach: my sunblock, my sun hat, my novel,
my couch and bed, my dinette set, and my refrigerator.
This is rarer, but sometimes the Serpent will use a dependent clause before
the colon. This is a no-no.