If you cancel, your score report will read “Absent or Scores Delayed.”
Important Note: If you took multiple SAT Subject Tests on one test date and
you cancel one score, you’re really canceling them all. So think twice!
THE SSS
In its spare time, the Evil Testing Serpent likes to play matchmaker. This is why
it invented the Student Search Service (SSS). The SSS (sounds like something
the Serpent would say) is like a computer dating service, except that instead of
matching sexually frustrated singles, it matches colleges with potential students.
It’s free, and it’s a good way to get lots of mail, so you might as well do it.
However, if you’re eco-conscious, you may not want to waste all that paper. One
way to save trees is to share college brochures with your friends.
To enroll in the SSS, you opt in when you register for the PSAT/NMSQT,
SAT, or an Advanced Placement test. It involves filling out a questionnaire.
Unless you’re a compulsively ethical person, there is no reason why you have to
tell the truth when answering the questionnaire. If you have no artistic ability,
but you still want to see the pretty pictures in the brochures that the art schools
send out, then select the option that says you got an “A or Excellent in Art and
Music.” Also, do not be modest when answering the questionnaire. If you’re
good at something, say that you’re great at it. That way you’ll be sure to get mail
from the colleges that are interested in that skill. The way it works is, colleges
will search a database of SSS participants based on certain criteria like gender,
ethnicity, expected graduation date, GPA, and intended major. If you turn up in
the college’s search results, you’re deemed a prospective fit for that institution
and they will send you information and brochures, either by email or good old-
fashioned snail mail.
Another similarity between the SSS and a dating service is that they both
make mistakes, matching you up with some real losers. The “Registration
Bulletin” claims that you will get mail only from schools with “the academic
programs and other features you find important.” This is false. If you put on the
questionnaire that you are an Alaskan native who wants to study philosophy and
has no mechanical ability, you may still get mail from the Crump School of
Interplanetary Auto Mechanics.