dehydrated pet does not require feeding, walking, or litter boxes. It
15 emits much less of an odor than regular dead pets, and it looks
much
better, too.
The projected uses for freeze-dried pets are numerous. If Spot
happens to have died in a crouched pose, he can be placed on
your
lawn as a security device. Snookums can be used as a decorative
20 centerpiece. Market analysts predict a boom in gerbil
paperweights,
goldfish refrigerator magnets, and poodle hood ornaments.
Detractors claim, however, that the dehydration wears off after
several years, as moisture from the air enters the animal corpse
and
causes decomposition. This, it is feared, would attract bacteria
into
25 the home. Another flaw in the freeze-drying process is that the pet
becomes brittle and breaks easily. For a young child, finding Fluffy
shattered on the living room floor could be extremely traumatic.
Finally, it is feared that people who dislike their pets might have
them
freeze-dried prior to death.
30 Furthermore, leading dehydration ethicist Thornton
McFrackleberry believes that “a freeze-dried pet would be
subjected
to an eternity of humiliation and mistreatment at the hands of
uncaring
owners.” He argues that moisture should not be removed from
pets
without their prior consent. However, a reliable way to gauge a
pet’s
35 willingness to be freeze-dried after death is yet to be discovered.