Your Family - April 2017

APRIL 2017 89

FEATURE: KATHERINE BEBO/PAN MEDIA SYNDICATION ADDITIONAL INFORMATION: CANDICE CURTISPHOTOS: FOTOLIA.COM AND SUPPLIED

WELLBEING

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Separate feelings from fact ‘Just because

you feel inadequate doesn’t mean you are

inadequate,’ Valerie points out. Having a ‘Huh?’

moment (or three!) is all part of life. ‘If you don’t

have these moments often, it means you’ve

stopped learning,’ she says.

2 

Embrace failure So, you didn’t complete the

half-marathon you set out to run. Instead of

feeling shame (a common emotion for those with

imposter syndrome), focus on learning where

you went wrong so you can improve next time.

‘When you alter your mindset about failure, your

confidence will grow hugely,’ says Valerie.

3 

Change your vocabulary The words you use

can have a huge impact. ‘You’ll be amazed at

how differently you feel simply by changing

your response from ‘I am so stupid!’ to ‘I feel

so stupid!’ Valerie says.

4 

Define success on your own terms The

traditional male model of success is money,

power and status. ‘Women have a more layered

definition of success,’ explains Valerie. ‘So in

situations where these elements are in play

(going for a promotion, for example), we wonder,

“Can I really handle it?”’ This anxiety could signal

a mismatch between the social definition and

what matters most to you, so think about how

you define success to ease your fears.

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Claim your accomplishments People suffering

from imposter syndrome tend to give away their

success: ‘My brother got me the interview’; ‘I was

in the right place at the right time’. Yes, external

factors such as timing, luck and connections play

a role in your success, but ‘It’s what you do with

them that matters’, asserts Valerie. She suggests

making a list of your achievements and noting

the role luck, timing and connections played in

each one. Then write down what you did to take

advantage of these opportunities. ‘And the next

time someone compliments you, say, “Thank

you”, then zip it.’

For more info on Dr Valerie Young, visit

Impostersyndrome.com

3 GREAT READS TO BOOST SELF-BELIEF

Mothers Work! by Jessica

Chivers (Hayhouse)

Jessica Chivers has had just

about enough of glossy

magazine covers featuring

popular celebrities who

make it look easy to juggle

a career and family life. With

this friendly and encouraging

read, she’s on a mission to

show working mothers that

it’s ‘good to be good enough’

and that they can thrive at

work and at home without

feeling guilty.

Drop the Ball by Tiffany Dufu

(Penguin Random House)

This empowering read

takes an interesting look

at how you delegate and

negotiate to make a success

of your professional life

while still managing to run

your household. The author

encourages and inspires you

to embrace imperfection,

expect less of yourself and

more from others as you use

your negotiation skills with the

man in your personal life, too.

Backstage Actor: Minus a

Frontstage Life by Champ

Payne (Payne Ink)

This fun and easy read isn’t

a ‘how to’ or guide book

on living your dream. It’s

an honest collection of

life experiences and good

advice presented in the form

of ‘50 life hacks’ by local

storyteller, Champ Payne. It

encourages you to leave your

comfort zone and pursue the

authentic and creative life

you’ve always dreamed of.

IMPOSTER SYNDROME

WAYS TO OVERCOME

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