om family
hidden agenda and high expectations.
Instead, meet them where they are and
try to see a bigger picture. Communicate.
Accept small misdemeanours. Enjoy the
company, but give them space enough
to breathe. Please remember your own
adolescent years. Don’t stifle them or make
them feel small. Within reason, allow them to
make mistakes, with you present enough to
support and offer guidance.
I love these wise words from Daniel J
Siegel: “The key for both generations is to
be open to what is unfolding, to honour
the person the adolescent is becoming
through all of the unpredictable stages and
experiences this time entails. Honouring
means being present for what is happening
and being open and accepting so that
we can play an important part in our
adolescent’s life.”
It had been a weekend of highs and
lows, but my favourite part by far was when
the group gathered under a shady tree to
practice yoga, a first time for most. Taking
a deep breath, I felt into the places each
one of them was at, and then moment-
by-moment, journeyed with them to that
mysterious yoga place. After bending and
twisting, headstands and crazy balances, I
lead them into the softness of relaxation.
Thoughts unravelled while bodies sank
deeply into the earth. We surpassed time
and space, and entered a new paradigm
where, once again, unity was restored and
we found the abilty to honour and respect
each other again.Siri Arti is the creator of Starchild Yoga, an
education for peace. For details of teacher
trainings and any other events please visit:
starchildyoga.comhttp://www.acquavivayoga.com
[email protected]the least adventurous climbed the rocks
to hide behind the cascades or found the
courage to jump off a rock plunging into
freezing pools.
As well as the constant teasing, there
was also praise and encouragement, and
helping hands up rock faces and into water.
This group of teenagers who didn’t know
each other very well inspired me. They found
a way to be together and their zest for life
was infectious.
They also found ways to get up to no
good under our very noses. There was pure
mischief but also some totally unacceptable
behaviour. They got caught, were
reprimanded and educated, but they stood
tall, received both the verbal beating and the
consequences, faced the music and moved
on. It was intriguing to witness the dynamics.
During the weekend, the responsible
adults showed three variations of parenting
methods. One of us dished out lists of
non-negotiable rules, curfews and harsh
words. The second was more laid back and
the third, still observing, managed the group
in an open and reasonable way. You can
guess how this went down... the rigid rule
maker ruled the roost. Kids were shouted at
and sleeping under the stars was forbidden.
Mischief was seen as defiance and the
warm African air turned to frost. A magical
weekend ruined. Both unnecessary and
heart breaking.
Teenagers are wired to be wildly creative,
courageous, imaginative and driven to take
risks. Trust them. They may withhold the
truth, be devious and do some pretty stupid
things, but it is their rite of passage to go
through this.
The first rule of conscious parenting is
to sort your own issues out. Let go of your