OM_Yoga_UK_-_February_2017_

Te acher zone

And I sat and felt the breeze on my

skin and listened to the rustle of the wind

in the leaves.

And I realised again that all just is as it is.

All things fluctuate and change.

I am on the right path. The path may

change in the future, but for now, I’m on

the right path. I am the guardian angel for

people who need me as I am now. I am here

in this body, in this place, in this time, for a

reason. Let me be me. And be a beacon of

inspiration and help and light to others, like

me, who struggle with sensitivity, anxiety

and self-doubt to let myself and them know

that sensitive people like us have beautiful

gifts to share in this world of comparison,

competition and stress. And we are perfect

just as we are.

Letting it be

And just letting it be, I found a peace with

it all.

I am thankful. Because I have a meditation

and mindfulness practice. Instead of sitting

and ruminating on worries (real or imagined)

and raising my stress levels or pushing it

down, ashamed of the way I feel, I know to

take myself to a quiet space and shake and

shout it out, stretch and move, or to lie on

the ground and breathe out my cares into

mother earth.

It isn’t easy. It never is being human.

But I feel empowered and strong for

having let myself feel everything.

That’s why I’m sharing this experience with

you. It’s not weak or stupid or wrong to have

strong emotions. It’s human.

for me to waft around pretending I’ve got

it all sorted. Writing this is exposing my

vulnerabilities to the world.

Well, I’m sharing this for three reasons.

1

To show you that yoga teachers

experience mind-created dramas too

• we all do because we’re human and
  complicated

2

To share it isn’t weak or stupid or

wrong to feel off-balance and

vulnerable sometimes

3

To show you how I used my mindfulness

and meditation practice to help me

through it – and to learn and grow from

the experience.

So, in the midst of the turmoil my mind

was creating, and, as difficult as it was, I

decided to sit on my meditation cushion

and feel it all.

I sat, and gripped onto my soothing rose

quartz thumb stone crystal for dear life and

sat with it all.

The waves of feeling and thought. The

anger, the frustration. The self-pity. The

envy. The instinct to jump up and pace

around. The fretting. Feeling like giving up

because I’ll never be as successful or prolific

as other teachers.

But most of all, I sat with the fear.

Because this is what my mini melt-down

was all about. A deep, deep fear of not being

good enough. Of being a failure. And of not

being seen.

“But I don’t want to feel this way!” I silently

screamed to myself. “But I am. Don’t push it

away” said the wise voice of the inner guide

within my heart.

Attachment and aversion, grasping

and pushing away: the root of so much

human suffering.

And then came a wave of inner strength

and resolve. “Just feel it. Name it. Let it be.”

Fear. Frustration. Fear again. Anger.

Worrying. Catastrophising. Comparing myself

and finding myself wanting.

It is as it is

And then a glimmer of equanimity.

It as it is.

Breathe.

It is as it is. (I let this be my mantra for

a few minutes) and the turmoil began to

lessen its grip and fade.

The next day I took myself off to one

of my favourite gardens and sat under

an old tree and meditated. And I sat with

it all again.

And it’s human to have a choice with how

we deal with these strong emotions. We can

continue on automatic pilot and be pushed

and pulled around or we can invite our

higher self to hold the reins and observe and

watch with kindness.

The quiet voice within

Through all the rage and fear I ever feel

sitting on my meditation cushion there is

always another voice within me. Sometimes

very quiet, sometimes shouted down by my

hurt ego. But it’s still there.

Have you heard it within you?

A voice that is loving and patient and kind.

Ready and waiting to be heard, saying it’s

okay. Feel it. There’s nothing wrong with you.

This is life. This is living. It’s okay.

Nothing lasts, everything changes.

Fear and hurt will subside. Joy will return.

And that will ebb and flow too.

It all changes. Let it be. It is as it is. This

too shall pass.

Breathe. Smile. And let life flow like a river.

Be kind to yourself. You’re okay. In fact

you’re more than okay.

And here in this moment all is well.

Stella Tomlinson is a Dru yoga and

meditation teacher based in Hampshire.

She uses her first-hand experience of how

yoga can relieve stress and anxiety to teach

others who feel anxious and overwhelmed

how to connect to inner strength, stillness

and joy to find peace amidst the demands

of everyday life. Get a free Calm, Clear &

Relaxed Tool Kit at: livingyogawithstella.com