Yoga Journal Singapore — December 15, 2017

december 2017 / january 2018

yogajournal.com.sg

When powerful teachings,

charismatic instructors,

and receptive students

come together in a

spiritual community,

intimate relationships

have the potential to

bloom. Yet is it ever OK

for a student-teacher

relationship to turn romantic?

Yoga Journal investigates.

Story by Sarah Herrington
Illustrations by C.J. Burton

“HUNGRY GHOSTS REPRESENT the parts of us
that can never be satisfied,” I heard the meditation
instructor say from my back-row seat in the packed
contemplative center. I’d just returned to the United
States after teaching English for a year in Japan. I had
no job and was suffering the fallout from things ending
badly with my first love while I was abroad. In my
vulnerable state, I felt pulled toward a path that had long
interested me: Buddhism.

“Keep coming to class,” the teacher told me as I
left that night. When he emailed three weeks later
asking if I’d like to meet for coffee, I was taken aback.
I looked him up online. His social media status had
recently changed from “in a relationship” to “single.” I
was curious. Within a few days, I was meeting him for
coffee, which turned into dinner. He was handsome and
charismatic. I was attracted to him, yet confused.
He was my teacher. When he leaned in to kiss me,
I stopped him.

“It’s taken me forever to find a meditation group I
like,” I said. “I don’t want to mess it up.” Before I’d left for
Japan, I’d looked for a sangha, or community. The one
this man led, filled with young creative types, was the
first in which I felt at home.