Case Histories, Anecdotes, and War Stories 171
People feel they have no other way to strike back. I’ve actually
seen people physically attack the lawyers and even the judges.
When people fail to control their rage, rash acts often are per-
formed in the heat of an emotional outburst—anything from
dumping a prized CD collection into the Goodwill bin, to driv-
ing the family car over a cliff. I had one client whose husband
sold their $80,000 yacht to a complete stranger at the boat harbor
for $10,000 rather than see his wife (or himself for that matter) get
a fair $40,000 share. A favorite horror story among matrimonial
attorneys is the one about the Seattle contractor who bulldozed
the expensive ranch house he’d just built rather than let his wife
get it in court.
We divorce lawyers tend to collect and compile these classic
stories of entirely too true life dramas. They are popular at cock-
tail receptions during Family Law Bar conventions. “They are
too crazy to make up,” says David Mattenson, a Chicago attor-
ney. When one of his clients found out his wife was having an
affair, “he waited until she was working and sprayed her wed-
ding dress red.”
Chicago divorce attorney David Levy recollects another case.
“The wife insisted on half the house. The husband showed up
with a chain saw and said, ‘Okay, you want to split everything
equally. I’ll show you equal.’ And he sawed the kitchen cabinets
in half.” Pennsylvania attorney Lynne Gold-Bikin recalls a battle
over access to a safe deposit box. “When the wife got a court order
to open it, there was a pile of manure waiting.”
Occasionally, a stressed-out spouse will get so out of control that
the judge has to lock them up for contempt. Some clients simply
collapse, either physically or emotionally (or both!), right there in
the courtroom. I’ve seen several clients get physically sick during
trials, and I was once in a hotly contested court hearing where the
opposing party suddenly turned blue and passed out.
“Until death do us part” can take on a chilling new twist. A
recent rash of divorced men have made good on this vow—set-
ting their sights not only on former spouses, but also on judges
and lawyers. In one nine-month period, seven different men, all
distraught over their respective divorce proceedings, opened fire
in various courthouses across the country. The casualty toll from