Some Basic Background 21
The wife also more often suggests solutions for problems. And
when things are really on the ropes, more than two-thirds of the
time it will be the wife who will initiate the actual legal filing for
divorce.
The impact of birth order as a behavior determinant. It will certainly
help your relationship if you can understand your mate’s most
basic character traits, and one key among these is understand-
ing how one’s chronological birth order ranking amongst their
siblings can influence the way their personality and behavior
traits develop. Not that you can really change your mate’s birth
order or background, but at least you can be more empathetic
and understanding.
Eldest children tend to be conservative, critical, conscientious,
judgmental, competitive, aggressive, responsible, successful high
achievers, organized, dominant, and controlling. They are also
generally smarter—enjoying, on average, a three-point IQ advan-
tage over their siblings. Middle children, on the other hand, tend
to be loyal, retiring, compromising, indecisive, peacemaking, easy
to get along with, and good negotiators. They develop useful skills
for mediating between their other siblings. Youngest children tend
to be fun loving, adventurous, reckless, impulsive, self-centered,
loving and rebellious. Last borns are often the humorous, clown
around “wild child” of the brood, able to get their way simply by
being funny or outrageous. Ironically, however, they may actually
be more dependent on authority.
Only children tend to behave exactly like what they are—a
combination of eldest and youngest. Eldest children can also be
a bit pushy (and I ought to know, I am one).
Now the key here is that same-birth-order marriages (i.e., an
eldest son marrying an eldest daughter) are usually more stress-
ful than mixed-birth-order marriages. Theoretically, it’s not ideal
to have two eldest child spouses constantly competing with one
another to be the top dog in the marriage. Neither are two adven-
turous “class clown” youngest sibling spouses ideal when some-
one needs to display “take charge” maturity. Thus, relationships
generally go better when an only or eldest child is coupled with
a middle or a youngest child.