32 DIVorCe wItH DeCenCY
Preserving Your Marriage.” So as long as I am sounding schmaltzy
anyway, let me conclude this section by providing a couple of
final “cutesy” sounding, but perhaps prophetic, laundry lists
of “relationship enhancement” pointers.
Here are seven somewhat silly, but certainly sweet and poten-
tially significant Tips on How to Have an Ideal Relationship.
- Take walks together (thirty minutes each day).
- Give each other gifts often. A special book, a warm bath and
massage, flowers, surprise experiences... try to offer up
the sorts of special things your mate would enjoy and get
excited about. - Write love notes. Hide them around the home, in clothing,
pockets, in the underwear drawer and secret places. - Do not criticize, condemn or complain. To do so is a big
no-no. Only praise and acknowledge the goodness in each
other. There is no place for negativity in a loving and lasting
relationship, ever! (Hopefully, your mate will do the right
thing if you lead by example.) - Forgive and love. Release the past at every moment. Live in
the present. Plan for the future. - Eliminate arguing totally. Anywhere, anytime. Especially in
the morning, during meals, or while in bed. - Say “I love you” daily, many times. Especially when you
wake up and before you go to sleep. Never, ever, take love
for granted. Express it verbally as well as with action.
Need still more inspiration? The Honolulu Advertiser conducted
an informal survey among its readers in 2007 as to “What makes a
marriage last?” Here is a short list of their respondents’ insights:
• Communicate and listen to each other.
• Mutual respect: Never put your spouse down in front of
others.
• Similar lifestyle: If you eat together, share the same bed, go
to sleep together and get up at the same time, you will have
better communication.