62 DIVorCe wItH DeCenCY
social conservatives are, in turn, quick to point out their own slant
on statistics which show that the higher the income for working
women, the higher the divorce rate.
One plus... older women are more resilient. Women in general
often have a hypersensitivity to their own and other’s feelings
which is noticeably absent in many men. These are probably hard-
wired female traits which help guarantee the survival of their
young during the long parental emergency known as child rear-
ing. Women’s more diffused attention, multi-tasking skills and
focus on the abstract are all qualities which often help them adjust
better and, in fact, actually soar to new heights in later life.
Indeed, there is a lot of evidence that indicates that right
around age fifty is when many women can begin to take off big
time. Numerous studies have shown that women in their fifties
frequently show greater gains in inner harmony, life status and
overall well-being than at any other time in their lives. Profes-
sional working women in particular often have great spurts in
their careers during their fifties. I should note that many of these
studies pertain to women in general and do not focus on the sub-
set of divorced women, for whom things may not be quite so
rosey. But overall, life may seem to go better for women as they
age than it does for many men.
One of the most daunting aspects for women when they hit
their sixties is the likely transition to having to live on their own.
While most older males have spouses (either original or replace-
ment) to lean on when their health fails, most elderly females do
not. Women live an average of 5.3 years longer than men. (The
good news for us guys is that this gap is down from about eight
years just a few years ago—so we’re gaining on them, fellahs.)
American women live to an average age of eighty, whereas
men live on average to about 74.7 years. Actuaries use this statis-
tical fact to justify the fact that women pay less for life insurance
and more for annuities. More than nine million elderly Americans
live alone; 78 percent of them are women.
Believe it or not, the average age for widowhood is seemingly
way too young... fifty-six years old. And given the fact that the
ordinary woman who reaches age sixty-five can fully expect to
make it to eighty-five, that’s a long time to live alone.