Q.
148
Why is it considered immoral to get married
or to have sex before age eighteen today, yet
in biblical times, people (including Mary) did
this all the time?
Marcia Ford
A.
The question assumes that it is considered immoral to get mar-
ried or have sex before the age of eighteen. Many cultures today
have much lower age restrictions or no restrictions on the “age of
consent,” when young people are considered mature enough to decide to have
sex, and the “marriageable age,” when young people are considered mature
enough to be married. In some countries, children as young as twelve may
have sex or be married, while in others, the minimum age is twenty. In the
United States, individual states determine the age of consent; all fall between
sixteen and eighteen.
In ancient and contemporary cultures that place a high priority on
childbearing, females may marry or have sex at the lower end of the age scale,
when they experience their fi rst menses and can conceive a child. In those
cultures, morality isn’t the dominant factor; procreation is. In ancient cultures
in particular, females had little or no say in decisions to marry or procreate.
While the Bible does not stipulate a specifi c marriageable age, it does
indicate that sexual intimacy should be confi ned to marriage. That concept,
coupled with an effort to spare young girls from a life of prostitution, in part
prompted nineteenth-century reformers in the United States to lobby for laws
governing the age of consent and of marriageability.Craig Detweiler
A.
In our postmodern moment, puberty starts earlier, while mar-
riage arrives later than ever. This has created unprecedented and
extended sexual tension. Urges that start in junior high school may
not be met through marriage for a decade (or two). It is easy for teenagers to
lose heart, to consider such a long waiting game as unreasonable and unfea-
sible. Biblical notions of abstinence until marriage seem highly unrealistic
(maybe even cruel).
Those biblical examples come from an era when puberty and marriage
often coincided. Times change, and so do social mores. Our notion of mar-
ried couples living apart from their parents was quite inconceivable in biblical
times. Ancient Eastern cultures were much more tribal. Getting married did