Valentine’s Day gives us all, singles and couples alike, a chance to be gods and
goddesses. Don’t miss this sensual opportunity, says tantra teacher Jan Day
Be a naughty Shiva or Shakti
Shiva is the male god and Shakti is the female goddess in tantra, so
focus on your divinity and emanate in your daily life. Don’t wait for
the bedroom. When you’re walking down the street, give passers by
a sexy look or a swivel of the hips. In a playful way. This is the sort
of innocent flirting that makes everyday life gain a bit of sparkle.
Britain needs more flirting. Comment on the assistant’s cutting of
the cheese in the deli, or the quality of the bread in the bakery with
innuendo. Allow the tingle to come alive in your lingam or yoni and
then let it follow you for the rest of the day. Play with your sexiness,
take it out for a walk. Allow it to be seen by others. It takes courage
but once you’ve started, there’ll be no stopping you.
Let out your sweetheart
Now is the time to lift the spirits and let the imagination fly. What
atmosphere can you conjure up for your partner or yourself.
Words, gestures, little gifts. Indulge yourself. You can now leave the
mundane and transport yourself to the romantic zone. Have a look
in your wardrobe, perhaps that 1950s spotted dress. Get out your
Prema Deval music, allow yourself to float around the room and
your heart to open. If you have a partner, make your partner feel
divine. Wash their feet in a precious-to-be-here kind of way. Undress
them very slowly. Write a poem and leave it under their pillow. Do
something totally outrageous: let them know you are totally devoted
to them, you adore them and how beautiful/handsome, she/he is. If
you’re single, do this for yourself with the mirror. Be reckless in your
compliments. Be the hero/heroine that they always wanted.
Creating the tantric atmosphere
The atmosphere is so important and the potential is huge. Give
yourself some time. Scatter rose petals in the bedroom, sort out
your favourite tantric music (for me it is Grace by Snatam Kaur) with
the aim being for both of you to sink right into your hearts before
any sensual activity begins. Be sensitive to each other’s desires. Or
your own desires if you’re solo. You could choose some sexy fruit
and cut it up – like ripe slices of mango or fresh fig. Then think
about how you might feed each other while blindfold. Get those
scented candles that you really love out. Not the cheap supermarket
ones. If you’re going to do chocolate, get the luxurious, organic ones
like Booja Booja, Raw Chocolate Company or Beautiful Heart raw
chocolate. Burn jasmine oil in a burner. Turn down the lights.Understand how important presence is
Being present for yourself, and therefore the other, is at the heart
of tantric practice. If you are alone, you could do some self-loving
meditation (try my Flow of Being meditation CD!). This will encourage
you to open into your most expansive self. If you are part of a
couple, simply sit opposite one another, tune into yourself first with
your eyes closed, then softly open your eyes and engage in gazing
at each other gently with no emphasis on an outcome. When you are
both ready, one of you starts with an appreciation of the other and
you alternate with this practice until it naturally halts. Hold hands if
it feels right. This is a beautiful way of sinking down into truly being
there for each other and opening your hearts.A TANTRIC
GUIDE TO
VALENTINE’S
LOVE YOGA&