a mother, it was clear he was not being presumptuous. He was being
the kind of kingly husband his wife ultimately wants and needs him
to be.
Gentlemen, it’s up to us. Have we prayerfully sought to map out
a plan for the next five years of our marriage? It’s time to look ahead
and make some plans.
Know your enemy.The attacks on your marriage and on your lead-
ership will come from all directions. They will come from a culture
that is increasingly drifting away from God’s standards and may be
pulling your marriage along in its undertow. They will come from
friends and coworkers who, thinking themselves to be wise, have
become as fools (Rom. 1:22).
The attacks will come from some surprising places. Today, there
are many evangelical churches that have lost their confessional moor-
ings and their confidence in the absolute standards of God’s Word. It
shouldn’t surprise you to hear popular “Christian” ideas about a hus-
band’s role in marriage—coming from books, radio, television, and
even from church pulpits—that are not rooted in biblical truth. A wise
husband will test everything he reads or hears—even this book—
against the absolute standard of the Bible.
There will also be attacks from your closest ally, your wife. While
her spirit will welcome the leadership, protection, and provision of a
wise king, her flesh will war against her spirit and will seek to thwart
your authority. Over time, there will be showdowns as you wrestle
with whether to compromise and gain her approval or to stand fast
and face her wrath. There will be times when you’ll have to decide
whether to serve her or to serve God.
Perhaps the greatest source of attack, as you seek to be faithful to
God’s calling as a husband, will come from your own flesh. You will
slip into patterns and habits that come from years of living in rebel-
lion against the things of God. You’ll lack the confidence to lead. You’ll
lack the desire to serve. You’ll look around and think, I’m doing better
than most husbands,and you’ll settle for less than God’s best.
The apostle Paul knew that the issue of authority and submission
was a spiritual minefield. In that specific context he warns all
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