ously stated skills are required, along with solid conflict resolution
skills. The type of student at the “hard level” of mentoring is poten-
tially a very good kid. He may come from a single-parent household
with very little, if any, positive male or female guidance.
The mentor will need to use parenting skills in sharing knowledge
on the responsibilities of manhood and womanhood. The mentor
must be patient and willing to play several roles: teacher, coach, cheer-
leader, and resource person. The mentor will challenge the youth and
will be willing to go where the youth “is,” mentally, emotionally, and
physically. Neighborhood and home visits are a part of the commit-
ment at the hard level of mentoring.
The fourth and final level is the “hard-core” mentoring. The type
of student requiring this in-depth mentoring is still reachable and
impressionable but, having been exposed to a lot of negative influ-
ences, is desensitized. Such a student has had little or no positive
adult influence and guidance. He is attracted to the seemingly easy
way out and is looking for immediate gratification—quick money,
instant pleasure. He is heavily influenced by his peer group and may
have already become a part of the juvenile court system and may have
been institutionalized.
Again, all of the previous skills are needed, along with a deeply seri-
ous commitment to mentoring. Hard-core mentoring is much like
pastoral involvement. The mentor must be extremely caring, patient,
committed, and willing to become basically a surrogate parent. He is
willing to be in touch and on call. The mentor must understand the
culture of young people, must be keenly aware of youth issues, and
must be willing to remain an advocate for his mentee even while the
young man continues to make poor decisions and mistakes. The men-
tor who engages in hard-core mentoring must emphasize the teaching
of respect—for self, for others, for life, for authority, for the law.
STEP3: TAKE APERSONALINVENTORY
The men who would mentor boys must make an honest, open, per-
sonal assessment of their own ability to serve effectively. Mentoring
and discipling young people opens your life to the hand of God. When
176 BUILDINGSTRONGFAMILIES