than you can ditch a car loan! It’s time for the church to step forward
and become the guardian, protector, and enforcer of the marriage
covenant. It is time for the Christian community to say no to easy
divorce and yes to a marriage covenant that lasts a lifetime. This is not
time for religious business as usual. It is time for radical action.
How’s this for an example of radical action taken by one pastor:
He will not marry a couple if the bride-to-be intends to work outside
the home after the wedding. This pastor says that he is “challenged
most on this point before marriage.... but thanked most for it after-
wards. The evidence is overwhelming in support of this position.”^3
This requirement may seem “way out there,” but this is not happen-
ing at some small church isolated from real life. This pastor is the for-
mer president of the Southern Baptist Convention, Tom Elliff, and his
church near Oklahoma City has a membership of many thousands.
Yes, Tom’s approach is extreme compared to the positions of most
churches these days. But do not disastrous circumstances call for
seemingly radical solutions? People take shots at Tom for his stand,
but are their methods producing better results?
Divorce is sweeping through the church in epidemic proportions
today. Could it be that we need some radical treatment to reverse the
trends? How will you address permanence in marriage in your
church?
Upholding the marriage covenant begins with the care and nur-
ture of your own covenant. Also, as your children grow up and marry,
etch on their souls the sacredness of their marriage vows and
covenant. Barbara and I did this when our daughter Ashley was
engaged to Michael. We had their vows inscribed on fine paper by a
calligrapher. Then during their wedding ceremony, the bride and
bridegroom signed the document. To indicate our support of their
marriage, Barbara and I signed the covenant too, as did many other
family members and guests. The covenant was framed and now hangs
in a prominent position in their home. Since then, two of our sons
have married and both included such a marriage covenant document
as a part of their wedding ceremony. I can’t tell you how much mean-
ing this has added to these weddings and to their marriages.
Local Church Family Ministry in the New Millennium 23