male and female), but rather that we should think of ourselves as
united beacuse we are all “one” in Christ Jesus (Gal. 3:28).
By way of application to marriage, this teaching on equality in the
image of God is being neglected whenever husbands and wives do not
listen respectfully and thoughtfully to each other’s viewpoints, or do
not value the wisdom that might be arrived at differently and
expressed differently from the other person, or do not value the other
person’s different gifts and preferences as much as their own.
Speaking personally, I do not think I listened very well to my wife,
Margaret, early in our marriage. I did not value her different gifts and
preferences as much as my own, or her wisdom, which she arrived at
and expressed differently. Later we made much progress in this area,
but, looking back, Margaret told me that early in our marriage it felt
as though her voice was taken away, and as though my ears were
closed. I wonder if there are other couples in many churches where
God needs to open the husband’s ears to listen, and restore the wife’s
voice to speak.^7
In July 1999, Campus Crusade for Christ issued its “Marriage and
Family Statement.” In part, it summarized a healthy perspective on the
way equality manifests itself in marriage. After three paragraphs dis-
cussing both equality and differences between men and women, the
statement says the following:
In a marriage lived according to these truths, the love between
husband and wife will show itself in listening to each other’s view-
points, valuing each other’s gifts, wisdom, and desires, honoring
one another in public and in private, and always seeking to bring
benefit, not harm, to one another.^8Why do I list this as a key issue in the manhood-womanhood con-
troversy? Not because we differ with egalitarians^9 on this question,
but because we differ at this point with sinful tendencies in our own
hearts, and with oppressive male chauvinism and male dominance. I
also list it as a key issue because anyone preaching on manhood and
womanhood has to start here—where the Bible starts—not with our
differences but with our equality in the image of God.
The Key Issues in the Manhood-Womanhood Controversy 31