ated role as a “helper fit for him” (Gen. 2:18) also supports this distinc-
tion of roles. I do not think a wife would be fulfilling her role as “helper”
if she became the permanent primary breadwinner, for then the hus-
band would be the primary “helper.”
Biblical support for the idea that the man has the primary respon-
sibility to protect his family is found in Deuteronomy 20:7-8 (men,
not women, go forth to war—here and in many Old Testament pas-
sages); Deuteronomy 24:5; Joshua 1:14; Judges 4:8-10 (Barak does not
get the glory, because he insisted that a woman accompany him into
battle); Nehemiah 4:13-14 (the people are to fight for their brothers,
homes, wives, and children, but it does not say they are to fight for
their husbands!); Jeremiah 50:37 (it is the disgrace of a nation when
its warriors become women); Nahum 3:13 (“Behold, your troops are
women in your midst” is a taunt of derision); Matthew 2:13-14
(Joseph is told to protect Mary and the infant Jesus by taking them to
Egypt); Ephesians 5:25 (a husband’s love should extend even to a will-
ingness to lay down his life for his wife, something many soldiers in
battle have done throughout history to protect their families and
homelands); 1 Peter 3:7 (a wife is a “weaker vessel,” and therefore the
husband, as generally stronger, has a greater responsibility to use his
strength to protect his wife).
In addition, there is the complete absence of evidence from the
other side. Nowhere can we find Scripture encouraging women to be
the primary means of support while their husbands care for the house
and children. Nowhere can we find Scripture encouraging women to
be the primary protectors of their husbands. Certainly women can
help in these roles as time and circumstances allow (Gen. 2:18-23),
but they are not the ones primarily responsible for them.
Finally, there is the evidence of the internal testimony from both
men’s and women’s hearts. There is something in a man that says, “I
don’t want to be dependent on a woman to provide for me in the long
term. I want to be the one responsible to provide for the family, the
one my wife looks to and depends on for support.” Personally, I have
never met a man who does not feel some measure of shame at the
idea of being supported by his wife in the long term. (I recognize that
48 BUILDINGSTRONGFAMILIES