54 • PART I: A MODEL FOR SELF-REGULATION AND ENGAGEMENT
better behaved, she wouldn’t need to drink so much. In fact, Zuri explains, when her mom
leaves to go to the bar, she often does it right after she gets mad at Zuri and her brothers.
Zuri explains that she becomes so anxious when her mom leaves that she can barely breathe.
She says, “I am scared.” She thinks, “Mom left because I am bad.” She thinks she will not be
okay if her mother is not there to make things okay. She tries to not feel anything and that
does not work. Then, she becomes completely overwhelmed.
Mrs. Markham utilizes the aspects of mindfulness to help Zuri self-regulate. First, as
Zuri tells Mrs. Markham, “I am scared,” Mrs. Markham reflects, “You are feeling a lot of
anxiety,” immediately shifting identification as the feeling (e.g., “I am ____”) to a pro-
cess of observing the experience of feeling a strong feeling (e.g., “I am feeling ___”).
Next, she asks Zuri to tell her about the anxiety, when it happens, how it happens, and how
the anxiety feels in her body (e.g., Does your heart rate increase? Are there sensations in
your body? Does your breath change?). Focus on the body and on experience increases con-
nection for Zuri between body and mind (McCown et al., 2010), while allowing an experi-
ence of interpersonal attunement as Mrs. Markham shares a focus on Zuri’s experience and
validates Zuri’s anxiety. Embracing the notion that all things, especially feelings, come and
go, Mrs. Markham asks Zuri to allow the feeling of anxiety to just be there. She then asks
Zuri to slow her breath and count to four as she inhales and to five as she exhales. They
practice this together. She asks Zuri to notice how her body may feel different (e.g., heart
rate, breath, sensations in her belly). Mrs. Markham helps Zuri understand that feelings
come and go (i.e., impermanence), and that anxious feelings seem to be triggered when
Zuri’s mom leaves—which makes total sense. It is scary when your mom leaves, mad, to go
out drinking. Her work with Zuri is designed around giving Zuri tools to manage her emo-
tional experience. Appropriately, Mrs. Markham validates Zuri’s feelings, gives her tools to
cope with them, and encourages her to allow them. Zuri’s mom still drinks; this is a prob-
lem outside of Zuri’s control. Still, Zuri has learned tools to cope with her emotions that
she can use from this point forward in her life. (Note, as any good school counselor would
do, Mrs. Markham explores any child neglect issues, etc. These techniques are embedded
within standard good practices.)
Embodied Self-Regulation
Embodied self-regulation is distinct from typical self-regulation processes and theories
(Cook-Cottone, 2015; Schultz & Ryan, 2013). Typical self-regulation involves cognitive-
driven emotional and behavioral regulation with an emphasis on motive, drive, and
achievement (Cook-Cottone, 2015; Schultz & Ryan, 2013). The endpoint of traditional self-
regulation is the achievement of goals. The scope of focus, or context, is the individual
experience (Cook-Cottone, 2015; Schultz & Ryan, 2013) whereas embodied self-regulation
targets mind and body integration within the context of active practice (e.g., mindfulness
practice or yoga). The emphasis of embodied self-regulation is on honoring the process
and the journey rather than on an endpoint (Cook-Cottone, 2015). The endpoint, or out-
come, for embodied self-regulation is not the achievement of goals. Rather, it is balanced
and sustained self-mastery. Finally, the scope goes beyond the individual and involves
attunement within the self and among others (Cook-Cottone, 2015). The principles for
embodied self-regulation are grounded in the mindful embodiment principles (i.e., worth,
breath, awareness, presence, and feeling) and include inquiry, choice, self-determination,