38 Sarah Feuerbacher, Travis Moore and Hannah Gill
are simply the behavioral expressions of the underlying issues of low self-esteem,
lack of self-confidence, confusion, and hurt in a wounded individual who is expe-
riencing a tremendous amount of suffering. They may react to a depressed person's
low energy with criticism, yelling at the person for acting lazy or not trying harder.
They mistakenly believe that depression is just an attitude or a mood that a per-
son can shake off. Although it's important to be supportive, trying to cheer up an
individual or reasoning with him or her probably won't work to help depression
or suicidal feelings go away. Some people feel that they are weak in some way
because they are depressed, which can even be harmful if it causes them to hide
their depression and avoid getting help. Sometimes even people who are depressed
do not take their condition seriously. Depression can be so strong that it outweighs
a person's ability to respond to reason.
An individual with ASD who has been a victim of bullying and who is expe-
riencing depression will create coping mechanisms and patterns in order to be
resilient; sometimes the ways of coping are helpful, but sometimes they can be
harmful, despite the fact that they have allowed the individual to survive up until
that point. The only way a habit, pattern, or way of thinking and behaving can
be broken is if it is replaced with something else that works better for that per-
son. Therefore, professional counseling and appropriate therapeutic treatments
should be used immediately and consistently when a person is showing signs of
depression and/or thoughts of harming him/herself or someone else.
Beginning the journey to finding an effective and healthier coping mechanism
can be a very scary step for the individual to take, so it will require much patience,
support, and empathy on the part of the significant people in the individual’s life.
People are better able to deal with tough circumstances when they have at least
one person who believes in them, wants the best for them, and in whom they can
confide. The smallest interaction on a personal level can make a big impression and
leave a hurting individual feeling like someone cares, opening the door for them to
return if they need an adult to talk to in the future. Just talking about it may help
the person to feel less alone, less isolated, and more cared about and understood,
and talking may provide a chance to consider that there may be another solution.
Connecting with an individual on the Autism Spectrum can be accomplished using
the following listening techniques:
- Find a safe, non-judgmental space to talk.
- Connect through activity or play.
- Make brief statements and wait for a response.
- Honor the need for silence.
- Be quiet and really listen.
- Look for pain and fear behind aggression and anger.
- Convey admiration for the individual.