The_Essential_Manager_s_Handbook

216 / BECOMING MORE EFFECTIVE

Listening effectively

Many people can talk, but few listen well. If you are good at hearing

what others miss, it gives you a distinct advantage. Good listeners are

also better at building rapport with others, so listening effectively

is a good skill to develop and practice.

Being a good listener

Listening is not the same as hearing. You

can hear something but not take it in or

respond to it. The words are just flowing

over you. When you are truly listening,

the person talking to you knows you are

listening and will appreciate it. Listening

requires concentration, which will not

be possible if you are busy thinking about

what you are going to say next. Be in the

present. If you are really listening you

will find your next words come intuitively.

Reading all signs

Listen to what the speaker is saying, not

just what you are hearing. Think about

what the tone and inflection in the voice

tells you about what’s behind the words.

Are they congruent? If not, what is not

being said? Their body language is

important, too, and you will probably pick

this up subconsciously. Does the speaker’s

body language match the words?

Confirming your thoughts

As you listen, make sure that you always

understand what the speaker is saying.

Summarize your understanding and,

if necessary, ask the speaker to repeat

what he or she said, or ask for further

clarification if you are unsure. Never

pretend to understand if you don’t.

Ending well

Finally, make sure that you end the

encounter on the right note. If you need

to take further action as a result of your

conversation, summarize what you have

heard and then discuss the action you

are going to take. Make a note of what

you have agreed should happen next,

ideally in your colleague’s presence.

This will emphasize the importance of

the matters that have been discussed

and decided. Always make a note of

important points even if this has to be

after the meeting.

GIVE THE RIGHT SIGNS

Give signs of encouragement—

nods, smiles, and winces in the

right places—to the person you are

listening to. If the story is distressing

or embarrassing, it is better to vary

your eye contact.

Tip

US_216-217_Listening_effectively.indd 216 30/05/16 3:03 pm