True_Love 2019-10-01

That is the question...

WOULD

YOU STAY

FOR BAD

SEX?

By DIMAKATSO KOMAPE

I

MAGINEmeetingyourPrince
Charmingwhoisperfectinevery
way.Tall,darkandhandsome—with
a summerbodyallyearround—
andthenwhenit’stimetodothedeed,
yourealisethat‘happilyeverafter’was
justa scam!Intimacyisoneofthemost
importantcomponentsofa healthy
relationship,butshouldyoubreakup
ifthesexisbad?Weaskedsomeofour
readers,andthisiswhattheyhadtosay...

SamanthaLanga*,30,CopyWriter
“Idefinitelywouldnotstayforbad
sex.I believethatsexisaboutthetwo
peoplehavingit,andwhattheybring
tothebedroom.IfI’mtheonlyonewho
isskilled,thenI’mboundtogetbored.
Lastyear,I dateda guywhowasloving
ineverywayandpaidattentiontoevery
littlethingI caredabout.I likethatin
a man,butthingswerenotsogreatin
thebedroom.We’dbehavingsexand
I wouldbedyinginsideathowbadit
was—I survivedonfakingmypleasure
[chuckles].Welaterspokeaboutit,andI
coachedhimonwhatI likeddoneduring

sex. I did that for a while, but I quickly

got bored because it felt like I was now

barking orders. That was definitely not

for me! I feel like some people become

different when it’s time for intimacy,

and this is what I call their “bedroom

personality”. If your bedroom personality

is not exciting enough, for me, then I’m

not going to stick around. This will affect

our relationship because I’m going to

look for that excitement elsewhere. With

that said, we should keep in mind that

personalities can’t be bought.”

Dakalo Nemasetoni, 23, Journalist

“I wouldn’t leave. Thankfully, I haven’t

been in a situation like that before, and

I pray to God that I don’t experience

it. I don’t deny the fact that intimacy

is much stronger when you’re sexually

compatible, but I wouldn’t ditch a guy

over bad sex because I believe that if the

communication lines are open, then we

can definitely talk our way to having better

sex. If your partner does something you

don’t like during sex, you should gently

communicate this. You should also praise

them when they’re doing something you

like. Open and honest communication

can help improve your sex life.”

Nonkululeko Matewane*, 25,

Multimedia journalist

“I would definitely stay for bad sex.

I have stayed before [chuckles]! I stayed

because I loved the guy. I feel that it’s

hard to find genuinely nice guys, and

when you find one and the sex is bad,

you stay! If you have a strong connection

with someone, you should at least try to

compromise when it comes to sex. The

love in a relationship should make up for

everything else. I must admit though that

I have major regrets, now, because our

relationship didn’t work out for reasons

unrelated to sex. Given that my staying

for bad sex didn’t pay off, I wish I had

been more vocal about our sex life!”

Dipuo Mbeki*, 33, Musician

“I would leave. Where do I even start?

My worst encounter was the first time

I had sex. He was rough, so it was painful.

As time went on, I became used to it

88 |^ OCTOBER^2019 | WWW.TRUELOVE.CO.ZA