Dumbo Feather – February 2019

Now What?

A facilitated moment with Matt Wicking

Here we are, facing a knot of interlaced crises. We all know them. Environmental emergency, spiritual drought,

deepening inequality, technological overload. Big systemic challenges with real, personal impacts and

huge implications. Many of us want to contribute something positive—for ourselves and our communities,

for our world. Do you feel that? When you read the stories in this edition, what comes up for you?

Where in your life is calling for courage? Pause here for a second and consider that. Then read below.

Matt Wicking is a facilitator, speaker and changemaker supporting progressive

groups through his freelance practice, Cloud Catcher. More at cloudcatcher.org

Therationale
So often we think of courage as a solo act; the hero taking a bold leap over a gaping chasm. But we’re not individuals. We never
were. That’s part of the poisonous ideology we’re trying to move away from. So of course it’s the wrong tool for the task at hand.
Seeing our courage as a collective act gets us closer to the truth of things. When we recruit someone to our side, it shifts many
things at once—giving us something to leverage from, creating space for our best self, and making room for a new world to be born.

Imagine that world. When we’re in need, we call on each other. When we succeed, it’s collective success.

And when we fail, we’re there together. Sounds pretty great, right? It’s only an outstretched hand away.

A dilemma: a knot

Despite good intentions, we can find ourselves

stuck—wanting to be brave but frozen in the face

of it. Even when nothing specific is stopping us,

something, somehow, does. Perhaps that’s not

surprising. After all, we’re part of these knotted

systems that we’re trying to change. Our attitudes

and habits, our relationships and our livelihoods, our

infrastructure and our cultures—all is tied together.

Even if you want to be brave, that can make it seem

like there’s no clear move that won’t leave you just as

stuck. That’s why behavioural and systems experts

tell us that change requires more than the desire for

change. We’re shaped powerfully and often invisibly

by things like our surrounding environment, by

our habits and by the expectations of others (real

or perceived). We’re not individuals trying to act

courageously at all; we’re something much more

complex and beautiful. If we allow ourselves to see

that, we give ourselves a chance at change.

A suggestion: to loosen the knot

With that in mind, I want to make a deceptively simple

suggestion for taking the next step. Reach out to

someone you care about—a friend, a lover, a relative or a

colleague—and ask them to join you. Perhaps you’d benefit

from emotional support or accountability. Before knowing

what you even need them for, my suggestion is to do this:

• Consider your courageous act.


• Think about your community.


• Notice who comes to mind.


• Call them. Or send them a text. Right now.


• Tell them of your dreams, and ask for support.

If you have a gym buddy or mentor, you know having

someone in your corner can keep you on track. In the same

way, let’s call on each other for support and companionship

in acting for a better world. Admittedly, this ask itself may

take some courage. If you’re feeling some resistance, it’s

most likely your system trying to maintain the status quo.

Listen instead for the voice that’s calling for change, that

got you this far into this piece. Trust yourself. Reach out.