Dumbo Feather – February 2019

Courageous

Communication

WORDS:ROSIEMARTIN

hewordcouragecametoEnglishviatheword

coeur, Frenchforheart.Thisstartlinglysimple

insightrefreshesourunderstandingaboutwhat

courageis.Coeurplacesit atthecoreofhuman

experience:caringfortheheartsofothers,acceptingthe

challengetofollowone’sownheart,andsimultaneously

dismantlingthebarriersindoingso—ofwhichfearis

usuallyprimary.Itsconfigurationisgeneroustoothers,

truetoselfandovercoming.It isallthree,combined.

Inactsofcourage,heartsareliftedtogether.These

include“small”acts—theinherentvulnerabilitymeans

theyneverfeelsmall.I seethisdailyinthespeech

pathologyclinic:a childhasanothergoatsayinga

sentencehecan’tconstruct.OrintheprisonwhereI

work:a mothervulnerablytellstheparenting-skillsgroup,

“I thinkI’mmean.”Courageousactsincludebig,multi-

stepresponsestoo—theinherentgenerositymeans

theyneverfeelbig,justessential.Aleaderchoosesthe

healthofherteamoverthebottomline,diversperform

a rescueina cave—these“big”actseachovercome

barrierstofollowthedeeplyheldvalueofhumanworth.

I followedmyheartincourageworktobecomea

facilitatorwiththeCenterforCourage&Renewal(CCR).

Foundedbyactivistandwriter,ParkerPalmer,theCCR

wasestablishedtwodecadesagotogrowcourageous

conversationsincommunity.Drawingonpurposeful

communicationprocesses,thesegatheringsevokethe

wisdom,creativity,knowledgeandsolutionsuniquely

heldwithineachparticipatingcoeur. Theysupport

clarityforpathsfacingpersonalandsharedbarriers.

Theycreateanintentionaltrustfulcommunitywithin

whichtobewitnessed,andtoreciprocallywitness

courageinothers.Theygivethedignityoftimeto

observeandprocessthemotivationsoftheheart.

Theguidingprinciplesandpracticesofcourage

communicationaretheCCRTouchstones.These

canbeusedindailylifeandarenottheexclusive

reserveofspecially-formedcircles.Indailyuse,they

widentheflowofpersonalandrelationalcourageas

a sourceofsocialjustice.Theybringthepowerofthe

authenticandgroundedselftoothers,andsupport

themtodothesame.Theyhighlightdeeplistening,

openquestioning,choosingwonderoverjudgement,

andusingreflectiontorespondratherthanreact.Regular

practiceincreasescapacitytoquiettheclamour,slow

therush,noticethefearandyetstillfollowtheheart.

Wefacelargeglobalchallenges,butwithcourageous

conversationswecancollaboratetowardsolutions.

Spreadingtheskillsforcourageouscommunication

matters.Ofcourse,weneedactiontoo,butaction

willbestymiedif it isnotprefacedandsurroundedby

other-mindedcommunication.Manysolutionsmaybe

technical,buttheiremergencewillbefromhearts.

Courageisinreachofusall.It isinpotential.It can

bea shyobserveroftheindividuallife,waitingto

becalledupon.Butwhenintentionallysought,and

drawnout,itcanpartnerintheplanningoflife—

settingone’sstrategicdirectionfromtheheart.

TheCCRTouchstones:

• Bepresentasfullyaspossible


• Beinvitationalincommunicationwith
  others,ratherthandemanding


• Speakyourmeaninginwayswhich
  respectotherpeople’smeaning


• Nofixing,saving,advisingorcorrectingeachother


• Learntorespondtootherswithhonest,openquestions


• Whenthegoinggetsrough,turntowonder


• Attendtoyourowninnerteacher


• Trust and learn from silence

These Touchstones are based on the Circle

of Trust Touchstones developed by Parker

Palmer and the Center for Courage & Renewal.

They have been adapted here by Rosie Martin,

Courage & Renewal Facilitator. You will find

more guidance for each of these Touchstones

in our extended list at dumbofeather.com

T

12 DUMBO FEATHER