human condition. And if that narrativeisgoodenough,thatnarrativehasgreathonourfor
the stranger, has great honour forthepersonwhohascouragegreatenoughtoleave,has
great honour for the person whoisthewhistleblower,hasgreathonourfor,etcetera,rather
than saying, “Fit into the groupandallwillbelovely.”Ifthatnarrativeisgoodenoughithas
a profound relationship with courageandvirtueandfriendshipnow,ratherthanaddictive
relationship to certainty about thefuture,orthehereafter,whateverthatmeans.AndI think
that religion can provide a powerfulgatheringstory.Theawfulthingisthatinthemidstof
providing that for many peopleithasatthesametimeharmedasmuchasithashealed.You
can say the same for stories aboutgender.Youcansaythesameforstoriesaboutnationality.It’s okay to have a story that youfeelgatheredinby.Butthequestionis,what’sthemorality
of your relationship with peoplewholiveoutsidethebordersofyourgatheringstory?
And that for me is always the testaboutthequalityofa religiousnarrative.It’sgenius.Becausebelongingissopowerful.
Andtherecanbesomeformsofbelongingthatreally,
reallymakea bigdifferencetoyoursenseofself.
Andtheycanbeterribleforotherpeoplewhodon’t
belong to that. And that isn’t tosayautomaticallydismantlethatbelonging.Butitistosay,
“You can improve that belonging.”Ha!Byspeakingaboutthe“not-us.”There’salwaysthe
“not-us,” you know? So there’s allkindsofwaysinwhichthegathered,thebelongingstory
we have in our groups—little, largeormassive—hastobeopentobeingbetter.It’snottosay
dismantle it necessarily; it is tosay,“Flexit!”Sooneofthepoemsthat’salwayssurprisedmehowfarit’s
travelledis“TheFactsofLife.”I shouldsayactuallythepoem
arrivedwhenI wassittinginthelibrarywritinganessayformy
Mastersintheology.I waslookingthrougha bookandlooking
throughtheindexofa bookandseeingalltheseotherbooksthey
mentioned.Andtherewasa bookmentionedcalled,TheFacts
of Life. Andbecausethatphrase,thefactsoflife,fourwords,just
seemedtobesooutofplaceinthemidstofthisbookoftheology,
it mademego,“Whatarethefactsoflife?”Thepoemformeis
a consolationtojustsay,“It’sokay.”Thisisthewaythingsarein
your life. And it’s okay that maybethestoryaboutyourfamilydoesn’tfeellikethebeststory.
Or that you’re filled with regrets.Andthatyou’refilledwithrecriminationsandthatyou’re
filled with things where you feellikeyoudon’thavecontrol.Okay.Hereweare.Hereweare,
here we are. And the landing ofthepoemintothemusicoftherepeatedlastlines,“Soyou
might as well love,” for me is alsosaying,“Despiteallofthisyou’recapableoflove.”I remember you quoted this magnificent pieceof
work I think by Cecelia Clegg and Joe Liechty who
said that “sectarianism is belonging gone bad.”Ah, I’m hearing a language of flexing. When
we began you talked about the awareness
that “everything is information” being a
helpful muscle to flex. And now our borders
and boundaries of who is in and who is out.
I love the way you find language that invites
us to new ways of being. Do you have a
poem that comes to mind that you’d like to
bring to us as we come to a close?
With any gatheringstory,I’m alwayscuriousabout
the borders it createsandwhetherthoseborders
are hostile or whetherthose bordersaresoft.
51FLEXESCONVERSATIONS