Smithsonian Magazine - 11.2019

ILLUSTRATION BY SHAW NIELSEN; RESEARCH BY MICHELLE STRANGE; SHUTTERSTOCK; MOVIES:© BUENA VISTA PICTURES / EVERETT COLLECTION; ©

PARAMOUNT PICTURES / COURTESY EVERETT COLLECTION; ©UNIVERSAL PICTURES

I

By

April White

prologue

RELATIONSHIPS

22 SMITHSONIAN.COM

Data analysis by

Austin Clemens

LOVE, AMERICAN STYLE

A new history of getting hitched reveals the only

thing that people are not in a hurry to do

F YOU meet Michael Rosenfeld at a

dinner party, he’ll probably pop the

question: How did you meet your

romantic partner? “I’m not being

nosy!” the Stanford University so-

ciologist insists. For Rosenfeld, it’s an

extension of his academic research. He has col-

lected answers from thousands of people for

a data set called “How Couples Meet and Stay

Together,” which off ers insight into how court-

ship has—or hasn’t—changed since the 1940s.

Smithsonian crunched some of the numbers

to learn more. For instance, one out of every

four couples who got together this decade did

so virtually, with the internet outpacing every

other method of meeting one’s match.

HOW WE MET

PERCENTAGE WHO MET THIS WAY

1940s 1950s 1960s 1970s 1980s 1990s 2000s 2010s

Through religion

As neighbors

In college

In elementary

or high school

Through family

At a bar or

restaurant

Through work

Through friends

or acquaintances

Online

The average age diff erence

between romantic partners is

4 years

WHO WE MET

16%

of couples are in an

interracial relationship.

For couples who met

this decade, that

number climbs to

24%

SOURCES: STANFORD UNIVERSITY’S HOW COUPLES MEET AND STAY TOGETHER SURVEYS, 2009 AND 2017; IMDB

1940s 1950s 1960s 1970s 1980s 1990s 2000s 2010s

NUMBER OF YEARS

15%

of couples today are in a

MIXED-POLITICS

relationship (a Democrat romanti-

cally involved with a Republican)

MEANWHILE, IN HOLLYWOOD

Analyzing the top-grossing romantic fi lms of

the last nine decades, Smithsonian found that

the best-known big-screen couples are a little

diff erent from the rest of us. Only 7% meet

through friends or acquaintances, long the

most common catalyst for real-world pairings.

People fall in

love at work in

44%

of on-screen

romances.

That’s how

Eddie Murphy

is introduced to

Shari Headley

in Coming to

America.

WHEN WE MET

Couples are

46%

more likely to have met in the spring and

summer than in the fall and winter. June

was the top month.

8%

of celluloid

couples meet

during a rescue.

Splash, with

Daryl Hannah

and Tom Hanks,

is an anomaly:

The woman

(well, mermaid)

saves the man.

In 1962’s That

Touch of Mink,

Cary Grant’s

car splashes

Doris Day with

mud—a classic

“meet cute.” A

minor traffi c in-

cident brings a

couple together

2%

of the time.

DELAYING MARRIAGE

Since the 1940s, couples have dat-

ed and then lived together longer

and longer before marrying.

0

1

2

3

4

5

6

7

Years before cohabitating

Years before marrying

DATING

COHABITATION

0

5

10

15

20

25

30

35

40