2019-11-01 Cosmopolitan

on’t get

me

wrong:

I’ll

proudly rock a Nacho

Bae tee while listening

to Lizzo “put the sing

in single” and Ariana

Grande vow that she

“ain’t g o n’ b e n o

Mrs.” I love that our

culture is now fully on

the #SingleLife band-

wagon, championing

the badass army of

unattached women

that’s only gaining

strength in numbers

(by 2030, 45 percent

of American women

a g e s 25 t o 4 4 w il l b e

single, according to a

recent study).

soon is the one at

Target packing all the

ice cream.

But yeah, I also

really, really want a

relationship. And why

is this so wrong???

W hy d o e s it m a ke m e

seem like a traitor to

single people every-

w h e re? O r like I c a n’t

say this out loud with-

out being labeled an

antifeminist who has

f ail e d t o f l a u n t h e r

fabulous free-agent

status? How is it that

admitting I might be

even happier with a

plus-one makes me

seem both too thirsty

and not fierce

enough?

Look, I know how

privileged I am to

even exist at a time

when women aren’t

socially obligated to

be coupled up. I

m e a n, if t his we re p re -

1970, I wouldn’t even

b e a b l e t o si g n u p f o r

a credit card without

a husband’s signa-

ture. (Seriously.)

Now, there are entire

movements

dedicated

to raising

women

up. We

don’t

need to

be girl-

friends or

wives to thrive,

and that’s definitely

worthy of cheering.

It doesn’t mean,

though, that some

women (read: me)

don’t still want a part-

ner to take late-night

drives with. And send

LOL memes to on the

reg. And tag in

romantic ‘grams from

awesome weekends

spent together.

I’m sick of doing

stuff alone. I crave the

in t im a c y o f h a v in g a

ride-or-die. A few

weeks ago, I was so

starved for touch that

I found myself hug-

ging people for way

longer than is socially

acceptable (I am not

proud of this, and

also, if that was you,

I’m sorry?).

I then got caught

in a vicious Tinder-

swiping cycle of feel-

ing miserable for not

finding anyone I liked—

and then feeling extra

miz for wanting to so

badly. The worst was

coming to terms with

the fact that I don’t

actually love standing

on my own.

Lately, though, I‘ve

been asking myself:

Isn’t the entire value

of independence that

you can do what you

want? And I’m pretty

sure being a feminist

doesn’t mean I

h a ve t o s t a y sin g l e t o

prove my power

as a woman,

right?

So

here’s my

new MO:

Lean in to

what I

know will

make me happy.

And never apologize

for slaying as a solo

queen while also

looking for someone

to share my throne.

What if I want fries *and* guys to share them with?

By DANA GERBER

Can I admit

that I

hate

being single

now?

My friends and

fam always tell me

that I’m killing it soul-

mate-free—because,

hi, I am. I never have

to share my popcorn

at the movies, I live for

chill nights vegging

o n my c o u c h, a n d t h e

only aisle I’m excited

t o wa l k d ow n a ny t im e

d

rppA

aice

et

oy

nu

to

duj

ig

ng

me

,C

he

eto

s.

TO

P:^

AL

AM

Y.

lust

82 Cosmopolitan November 2019