CalmMoment.com 49wellness
CalmMoment.com 49Q
I’m a creative freelancer and have a number of
regular clients. None of them pay very well and
I never get briefed properly, so I always end up
spending more time on things than I need to. I try to be
friendly in my dealings with them, but when people email
me they’re always quite rude and dismissive. I am
starting to feel really demoralised and depressed and
I’ve never felt that about my work before. I don’t know
how long I can go on like this, but at the same time I need
to pay my bills and keep in with people. I’ve just been
offered another bit of work that I should take, but my
heart sinks at the thought of having to go through it all
again. Then I worry about turning down work and not
having any money. I feel trapped and stuck in this toxic
working culture. What should I do?
Fed up freelancer, HertfordshireA
That does sound very toxic. A freelance
career has many positives, but it can feel
very isolating and disempowering when
things aren’t going your way. Let’s start by giving
your clients the benefit of the doubt. Maybe they’re
sitting in big, busy offices with their own work
stresses. Maybe they aren’t thinking how they’re
making the far-away freelancer feel when they fire
off another email. When it feels like you’re being
talked down to on a daily basis it can really affect
your confidence. We can easily start to interpret
every communication as a negative one. Are you
sure that every email you receive is as bad as you
perceive, or could it just be that someone is sending
a brief request because they need an answer?
Which brings me to my second point. Email is
our main point of communication at work these
days, which means human interactions have
become largely phased out. As a freelancer, you can
become just another name in someone’s already
bulging inbox. Could you start asking for phone
calls with your clients, so you get to know them a
bit more? People can be completely different over
the phone, and hopefully it will hold them more“How can I feel more empowered
in my freelance job?”
It can feel scary calling the shots, but taking control of the
situation gives you the opportunity to improve itaccountable in how they treat you. Also, a lot can
be misconstrued over email. If you don’t feel like
you are being briefed properly, ask for a call. I know
it can feel scary calling the shots when you’re a
freelancer but it’s their job to inform you properly,
and by taking control of a situation, you will be
showing them what is (and isn’t acceptable) to you.
Otherwise could you ask them to increase their
day rate? I know that can feel even scarier,
but if we don’t ask, we don’t get. They obviously
value you if they keep commissioning you, so know
you have that bargaining chip.
Ok, we’ve done the charitable view. What if it’s
just a toxic work situation and you are being
treated unfairly? You say you can’t afford to turn
down your clients, but can you afford to keep
working for them? Not just for your bank balance
but for your mental health and wellbeing. The
unfortunate fact is that the longer we continue to
work in negative and unfulfilling work situations,
the more we get of the same. Will you really be
destitute if you turn down this project? Can you
survive on a stricter budget for a while until you
find something else? It does take courage to turn
down work but try to think long term. Rather than
thinking, ‘Argh, I’ve got no work’, use the time to
think about who you want to work for, then go
ahead and approach them. Your vibe attracts your
tribe – that’s especially true in our careers. This
is about taking an important step towards working
with people who inspire you and make you feel
valued. Exciting!DEAR AUNT JOSEPHINE
Josephine Carnegie holds a
certificate in holistic counselling
and is best known for giving good
advice (@dearauntjosephine).
Ask Aunt Josephine a question by
emailing [email protected]
Unfortunately, Aunt Josephine can’t
enter into personal correspondence.