‘Oneweekend
afternoon,
I decidedto go
hangoutwith
mymanager
duringhisshift
at therestaurant
wherewe
worked.I had
a majorcrush
onhim,so
I figuredI’dflirt
shamelesslyat
thebar.When
hisshiftwasover
andthesexual
tensionwasat
its peak,we
wentbackto
myplaceand
hookedup.It
wasn’tuntiltwo
weekslaterthat
I foundouthe
wasmarried.’
- AU B R E Y, 24
‘While sipping
bottomless
mimosas with
my friends, I got
up to go to the
bathroom, and
halfway between
my table and the
bathroom, I fell
right on my ass.
When I stood up,
I looked down
to see I had
slipped on an
effing pancake.
Everyone
laughed, but
then the waiter
brought me
complimentary
pancakes.’
-TAYLOR, 24
‘After a few drinks
at brunch with
my best friend,
we decided we
should have
a podcast.
I e-mailed someone
I knew and
requested
a meeting with
her producer.
I guess I’m
productive while
tipsy because
we landed the
meeting! We
recorded a few
episodes, but
since we fully
BSed our way
through it, we
had to say we just
didn’t have the
time to pursue it.’
- LU CY, 26
‘Duringa very
boozySunday
Funday,my
friendsand
I startedchatting
witha family
sittingnearby.
WhenI looked
at myphonethe
nextday,I found
a tonof selfies
I didn’tremember
featuringmewith
thatentirefamily
- evena group
shotof us with
myheadresting
onthegrandpa’s
shoulder.
I wonderwhere
theyarenow...’
-ATHENA, 23
‘Duringa funweekendwithmy
varsityfriends,wewenttothis
barknownforbuild-your-own
BloodyMarys.Whileinlinetoget
one,I bentovertotiemyshoe.
AsI stoodup,I bumpedintoa
shelfofBloodyingredients. That
shelfsmashedintoa secondshelf,
whichfellintoa third.Therewere
wings,beefsticksandolives
everywhere.Everyoneassumed
I waswasted,butI wassober!The
hostaskedmetoreturntomyseat
andbroughtmewater .’
-MORGAN, 24
If youdidn’tspillyourthirdmimosa,
wasit evenbrunch?
Confessions:
brunch edition
Tal
king^
sh*tand
get
tin
g
lit
sin
ce
(^1)
(^99)
.^9
YOU
15
COSMOPOLITAN.CO.ZA | SEPTEMBER 2019
PHOTOGRAPHY
MAGAZINEFEATURES.CO.ZA
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ENTRIES MAY HAVE BEEN EDITED FOR LENGTH, CONTENT AND CLARITY