in a room full of people”?
I went through a phase of
thinking, “I’m going to isolate
myself, because I don’t know
how I feel. I don’t know what
the right thing to do is.”’
Throughout our conversation,
Jordyn speaks about the
importance of her relationship
with God. ‘I just need[ed]
some time by myself to try
to understand what [was]
happening, why it [was]
happening, and how am I
going to react to this internally,
you know? How can I make
things right with myself, with
God and with my relationships?
It took some time off in order
for me to have a level head on
how I should react.’
When it comes to self-
care, Jordyn is an advocate
of social-media detoxing in
favour of family time. ‘I don’t
believe in clapping back,
or reacting out of emotion.
I could have handled this a
million different ways, but I just
went with what felt the most
natural to me. Would I ever
have wanted this to happen?
Never. But shit happens. And
in the end, I never want to see
anyone hurt; I would hate to
be the reason for anyone’s
pain. We all have to go to
sleep with ourselves at night.’
The temptation to see
what people were saying
about her was very real. ‘It
becomes addictive to look
on the Internet. When I would
look at my name and see
all of the things that people
were saying, it became like
a tumour. It became cancerous
to me.’ From ‘homewrecker’
and ‘snake’, right through to
death threats, Jordyn saw it all.
Growing up in California,
in a close-knit family with two
brothersanda youngersister
wholookslikeshecouldbe
hertwin,Jordynwasa self-
professedtomboy.She’s
beenbigonsocialmedia
sincetheageof 15when
shestartedcashingcheques
forherworkasaninfluencer,
afterinitiallymakingvideos
forfunwithfriends.Raisedin
a predominantlywhitearea,
OakPark,Jordynrecallsbeing
oneof onlytwoblackgirls
in herschool.‘I neverreally
lookedat people’scolouror
noticedthatI wasdifferentto
anyoneelse,besidesthetime
oneof myteacherscalled
meLeah[theotherblackgirl],
andLeahandI looknothing
alike.Shewasshortand
dark-skinned,andI’mtall
andlight-skinned.’
AlthoughJordyndoesn’t
believetheoutpouringofcan’taffordhairextensions
anymore,she’ssobroke.”’
Aftera recenttripto Nigeria,
a 47-secondclipsurfaced
of Jordynspeakingaboutthe
onlinebullyingshe’dfaced
andhowit illuminatedwhat
it meantto bedemonisedas
a blackwomanexistingin
a publicspace.TheInternet
latchedontoit, professingthat
Jordynhadjustdiscovered
whatit meantto beblack–
somethingsheis particularly
keento clearup.She
referencesanarticlesheread
onGal-dem, thepublication
I founded,aboutschoolgirls
beingsenthomeforhaving
whattheschooldeemed
‘inappropriatehair’.‘I’vehad
theprivilegeof nothavingto
faceit ashardasthegirlsin
[that]schoolbecauseof my
surroundings,butnowI have
a clearerunderstandingof
howthisgameworks,and
howpeoplefeellikeit’sokay
to saywhatevertheywant.
I knowthatI’ma black‘I don’t
b e l i e v e
in clapping
back’
hate shereceivedthisyear
was entirelyto dowithher
race, shepinpointsspecific
instanceswhereonlineabuse
was definitelytargetedat
her becauseshe’sa black
woman.‘Thefirstpicture
I postedonInstagram
afterwardswasa photo
of me withshorthair,which
was aweave.I cutit; I just
wantedshorthair.I posted
it andallthememesgoing
aroundwere,“Oh,Jordynwoman and I love being
a black woman.’
She is, she says, a private
person, despite her following
of 10,4 million on Instagram.
‘I don’t really care to share my
whole life on social media,
because certain things are
special and once you share
it, you open yourself up to
people’s opinions.’ This
became a double-edged
sword: ‘People got to
see me at my most
vulnerable moment
without even really
knowing me,
because I don’t
showcase who
I am, really.’ We
go on to discuss
the perpetualCOVER STAR44
COSMOPOLITAN.CO.ZA | SEPTEMBER 2019