280 AMERICAN SPYSickness—real and feigned—is a fact of life for spies, but it rarely slows
us down.
What does slow spies down are the myriad nonmedical, bureaucratic,
and other maladies that plague us throughout our careers: risk-averse CIA
bureaucrats whose “Just say no” mind-set frequently undermines the CIA’s
raison d’être; subjecting ourselves and our families to difficult and some-
times dangerous ways of life; the CIA’s sky-high divorce rate; dealing with
lies and betrayals on a daily basis; having to obey operational decisions
based not on the merits of an operation but on administrative consider-
ations of lawyers, bean counters, or ambitious, career-conscious managers;
and so on. A spy who manages to survive all of that, and still successfully
produces solid intelligence, may then face presidents and policy makers
who ignore or politicize the CIA’s intelligence.
Spies are also slowed down by countless Bohica moments. As I men-
tioned in chapter 6, Bohica in CIA and military circles means “Bend over,
here it comes again.” It typically refers to the phenomenon of getting
screwed by your own bureaucracy, and often in the context of personnel
matters. (The nonconsensual buggery humor just never seems to end, does
it?) Being drafted to learn French and serve in Africa after being promised
that would not happen was one of my earliest Bohica moments. Over the
years, several more followed.
One of my final Bohica moments took place when I resigned from
the agency. Technically it was a classic case of sleeper-cell Bohica, since it
related to my prior TDY to Sarajevo. During the Bosnian War, the “offi-
cial” currency in the country was the German deutsche mark (DM). When
I first met them in Split, Croatia, the US military operatives who drove
down from Zagreb passed me an envelope containing 500 DM to advance
to me in case I needed it while in Sarajevo. Since I bugged out of Sarajevo
early, I never spent any of the advance. When I stopped off in Washington
to brief the congressional intelligence committee, I also paid a visit to CIA
headquarters, where I attempted to return the 500 DM. I was told that per
regulations, they could not take the cash back at headquarters, since it was
advanced in the field. I’d have to turn it in where I received it.
I explained I left Sarajevo under somewhat hasty circumstances and
did not have a chance to return it in the field. Headquarters bean coun-
ters mulled it over and decided they’d make an exception and allow me to