SEPTEMBER 14 2019 LISTENER 61
BRIDGE by David Bird
TAKE 5
by Simon ShukerBARDEN’S
CHESS PROBLEMSWIN THIS
Wordsworth
In this guide, writing
coach and therapist Alyss
Thomas explains clear,
effective ways to use
journaling to excel in all
aspects of life.Submissions: [email protected]
or Wordsworth, NZ Listener, Private Bag
92512, Wellesley St, Auckland 1141.
Please include your address.
Entries may be edited for
sense or space reasons.Readers were invited to submit
short stories of 60 words or fewer,
incorporating the closing line from The
Handmaid’s Tale by Margaret Atwood:
“Are there any questions?”
To ny Cl e mow, Kamo: “Listen up,
singers! As from NOW there’s to be total,
sustained, uninterrupted silence – not
a murmur, not a twitter! No gargle,
warble, yodel or gurgle is to be the thief
of quietude. This is not a grey area. You
are not magpies. It’s black and white! You
may internalise but not vocalise. Have I
made myself clear? Good! Now, are there
any questions?”
Alan Belcher, Christchurch: He took
his seat in the driverless car and watched
the safety video. After the impressive
features of the technology had been
expounded on, he was instructed to
key his destination into the on-board
satnav. This done, a robotic voice asked,
“Are there any questions?” “Yes! If your
guidance system is crash-proof, why are
there seat-belts?”
But Auckland’s Rex McGregor wins:
Cold wind struck Tim’s face as he braced
to make his first jump from a plane.
“Opening your parachute is easy,” said the
instructor. “Just pull the ochre-coloured
tab. It’s right next to the fawn-coloured
release mechanism, which of course
should only be activated once you’re safe
on the ground. Are there any questions?”
For the next competition, choose
any saying and substitute one or
more words to create a malapropism.
For example: I try to avoid casting
nasturtiums on others. You may have
heard some humorous real-life
examples. And a reminder: ideas for
future contests are always welcome.
Entries, for the prize below, close at
noon on Thursday, September 19.by Gabe Atkinson
Daniel Campora (Argentina) v Kamran
Shirazi (US), Lone Pine, 1981
For a decade, Lone Pine, a small town in
the Rocky Mountains, was a mecca for
grandmasters and the venue for the world’s
most keenly fought open tournament.
Retired millionaire Louis D Statham lived
there, and he put up the funds
for an event whose generous
prizes attracted the greats of the
day. In today’s puzzle, White
(to move) is two pawns down
and seemingly doomed to a
slow grind to defeat. How did
Campora escape?
(Answer on page 62.)North-South game, dealer SouthWest North East South
— — — 1H
Dble 2NT Pass 4H
All Pass
North’s 2NT showed at least a genuine raise
to the three-level (around 10 points). Had he
bid 3H, instead, this would have been a pre-
emptive move, aiming to take away bidding
space from the opponents. How would
you play the heart game when West leads a
trump? The original declarer won in his hand
and led a spade towards dummy. West played
low and the spade king won. After returning
to his hand with a second round of trumps,
declarer led another spade. West went in
with the ace and exited safely with a third
round of spades. Declarer won with dummy’s
queen and threw a club from his hand. If
East held the diamond queen, a finesse in
that suit would yield the contract. However,
West’s double made him a strong favourite to
hold the diamond queen. Declarer therefore
cashed the ace and king of diamonds and
exited with the jack of diamonds. West won
with the queen, as expected, and found that
he was end-played. A spade would concede a
ruff-and-discard, allowing declarer to ruff in
the dummy and throw another club from the
South hand. A club switch would concede a
trick to South’s king. If West would be willing
to double on a 4-2-3-4 11-count, he is a 74%
favourite to hold the diamond queen. If he
would need 12 points to double on such a
balanced hand, this rises to 90%.BIDDING QUIZ
WEST West North East South
♠ Q 9 8 7 5 — 3C Dble 4C
♥ J 9 3?
♦ Q 10 8 5
♣ 5What will you say now on the West cards?
(Answer on page 62.)EAST
♠
♥
♦
♣WEST
♠
♥
♦
♣
A 10 6 5
7 5
Q 9 5
A Q 7 6
SOUTH
♠
♥
♦
♣NORTH
♠
♥
♦
♣J 7 4 2
9 8
10 8 6 3
J 10 8K Q 8
K Q 3 2
7 4 2
5 4 29 3
A J 10 6 4
A K J
K 9 3