C4 EZ RE THE WASHINGTON POST.FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 6 , 2019
ACROSS1 Source of
seasonal color
5 Like bubble
baths
10 Golfer at Royal
Troon, often
14 “I’m buying!”
15 “America”
soloist in
“West Side
Story”
16 It parallels a
radius
17 Hot spot
18 Philanthropic
football player?
20 Varieties
22 “Diana” singer
23 Stooge Howard
24 Football
player who’s
PR-savvy?
27 Head for the
hills
28 Spots
29 Groovy cousin
30 Usher
32 No different
from, with “the”
35 “One more
thing ...”
36 Football player
with a line?
40 Work out ahead
of time
41 Appropriate
42 Targets
45 Fjord kin
46 Book jacket info
49 Goal feature
50 Football player
with manage-
ment skills?
54 Hubbub
55 Fictional hunch-
backed helper
56 Like many
windows
57 Football player
at the beach?
61 It’s abuzz with
activity
62 Cover for an ear
63 Ending with
poly-
64 Chills
65 “At Last” singer
James
66 Monopoly stack
67 Friend of Mary
Poppins
DOWN
1 Start of a
kid’s show-offy
cry
2 Painfully
wished
one had
3 Changes,
as a law
4 Luxury handbag
brand
5 Give
somewhat
6 Start to cycle?
7 Backless sofa
8 Period of work
9 “Sandman” or
“Joltin’ Joe”
10 Long
sandwich
11 Seafood
sandwich
12 Headed the
right way
13 Fallen for
19 Long-nosed
fish
21 Joe’s 2008
election
counterpart
25 Lingerie item,
briefly26 Blissful
settings
31 Like dried mud
32 Govt. IDs
33 Time of one’s
life?
34 Harsh
36 Hit one that
was caught
on the warning
track, say37 Acknowledgment
of being sunk?
38 Parisian friend
39 Hold tight
40 Pizazz
43 Barely
more than
not at all
44 Pulled
46 “No fighting,
now”47 “The nerve!”
48 Weird to the
max
51 Drunkard
52 Ticked off
53 Indian title of
respect
58 Reggae
relative
59 Wine choice
60 No and JLA TIMES CROSSWORD By Bruce HaightTHURSDAY’S LA TIMES SOLUTION© 2019 Tribune Content Agency, LLC. 9/6/19
Hi, Carolyn: My
husband is
insanely attached
to his parents.
They’ve been
married 66 years
and have four
kids. He’s the only
one who actually
takes care of
them; if we’re on vacation, he has
to make arrangements for one or
two of his siblings to come look
after them. My husband is then
constantly texting with his
siblings, and the barrage of texts
from them never stops.
Otherwise they don’t really talk.
His father has been nasty to
me many a time. My husband
always looked the other way. He
finally admitted his father is a
jerk, but he keeps catering to his
father’s every passive-aggressive
whim.
We’ve been to counseling, and
he said he’d work on things, but
his actions speak louder than
words. He gets upset when I ask
for boundaries: “They are my
family — what am I supposed to
do?”
Oh, and by the way, we don’t
have kids; when that topic came
up, my husband said, “If we have
a kid, who’ll take care of my
parents?”
How do I navigate this tricky
situation? I don’t want them outof our life, but I do want them
out of our marriage.
The hubs was married before
and that didn’t last... wonder
why.
— At a LossAt a Loss: They will be out of
your marriage when they die, or
when your husband is ready to
seek help for real.
And even if your marriage
manages to survive his parents,
the dysfunction they raised their
son to treat as normal — and to
internalize as his marching
orders — will outlive them,
surviving in him until he sees fit
to exorcise it.
I don’t like his chances for
doing that. Not when he thinks
there’s anything normal or
healthy about opting out of his
own children because his duty is
to remain a child himself.
There are countless good
reasons not to have kids; being
too enmeshed to believe they’re
possible is not one of them.
Seriously — if that
conversation with you wasn’t
enough to trigger in him a this-
is-not-normal epiphany, then I
don’t know what will.
Perhaps it’ll take a second
divorce.
For your part, it’s worth
asking yourself why you didn’t
put your foot down then — orearlier, well before marrying
this.
I’m sorry. I’m sorry you
weren’t in a position to see this
coming, for whatever reason; I’m
sorry you’re unhappy; I’m sorry
your in-laws are so twisted; I’m
sorry they ensnared your
husband; I’m sorry he’s not even
able to see they did that. This is a
sad situation all around.
What it doesn’t appear to be,
though, is “tricky.” The facts as
you lay them out couldn’t get
much simpler or clearer: His
parents are your husband’s top
priority and he doesn’t intend to
change that.
Please give counseling another
try, except go alone. The
question you were asking the
first time — “How do we fix our
marriage?” — took for granted
that your husband agreed there
was something to fix and was
willing to fix it. Now you know
you’re the only one willing to
change, so you have new
questions to answer: “How did I
get here, and can I make it a
place I want to stay?”Write to Carolyn Hax at
[email protected]. Get her
column delivered to your inbox each
morning at wapo.st/haxpost. Join the discussion live at noon
Fridays at live.washingtonpost.comPlaying second fiddle to the in-laws
Carolyn
HaxNICK GALIFIANAKIS FOR THE WASHINGTON POSTTelevision
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(Netflix) The contestants are tasked
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examine the texture and taste of
their chocolate biscuit bars.
Killjoys (Syfy at 10) Dutch and
Zeph take a road trip to a
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key to the Lady’s destruction.
20/20 (ABC at 10) Co-anchor Amy
Robach sits down for an exclusive
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Life Inside (NBC at 10) Lester Holt
spends two nights locked up and
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Angola.
RETURNING
Elite (Netflix) When three middle-
class teens enroll in an exclusive
private school in Spain, the clash
between the students leads to
murder. Season 2.
Hip-Hop Evolution (Netflix) A
docuseries with interviews from
influential MCs, DJs and moguls of
the 1970s-1990s. Season 3.
Jack Whitehall: Travels With My
Father (Netflix) Comic Jack
Whitehall and his much stuffier
father, Michael, take amusing trips
to foreign lands as bonding
experiences. Season 3.PREMIERING
Into the Dark: Pure (Hulu) A
horror-like coming of age story with
a look into purity culture’s
patriarchal control and abstinence
pledges.Couples Therapy
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through honest discussions about
themselves and their relationships.Good Talk With Anthony Jeselnik
(Comedy Central at 11) Comedian
Anthony Jeselnik interviews his
friends, fellow comedians including
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they discuss all things surrounding
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Tonight Show/Fallon (NBC at
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The Spy (Netflix) In the 1960s, Israeli clerk-turned-secret-agent Eli Cohen
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