Daily Mail, Friday, September 6, 2019 Page 19ITTLEJOHN
Holy cannoli!
Have these
Limey MPs
gone crazy?
[email protected]three times, but the MPs kept
voting against it. In the end she
was forced to resign.
So who’s in charge now?
President Boris Johnson.
Boris? He’s Russian? I knew
there were plenty of Commies in
englandland but I never thought
they’d make one President.
He’s not a Commie, Chad, he’s a
Conservative. Mind you, the way
things are going here at west-
chester, the yew-Kay could soon
have a real commie as President.
Who’s that?
Jeremy Corden.
The english guy who does that
late-night TV show with the
Carpool Karaoke?
No, that’s James Corbyn.
Jeremy Corden is leader of the
labor Party.
So there’s going to be a
General election?
Not necessarily, Chad. Cordensays he wants an election. So does
Boris, on october 15, but labor
won’t let him hold one.
Run that by me again, Brit.
It’s complicated. This week, MPs
voted to prevent Boris calling
an election.
Can they do that?
Apparently so.
Hang on a doggone minute.
Corden says he wants an election
but voted to stop President Boris
calling one?Go figure. Essentially, it’s all
about stopping Brexit.
So Corden is against Britain
leaving the eU?
No, he’s always been anti-EU. He
thinks it’s a capitalist conspiracy
against the workers.
So why doesn’t he vote for
Brexit?
Because he wants to be
President.
Surely he can’t become President
without winning an election.
you’d think. But nobody elsewants him to be President, even
most of his own labor Party MPs.
Does anyone apart from Presi-
dent Boris want an election?
The Scotch Nuts say they want
an election.
So they’re backing Brexit?
No, they want to stay in the
Eurovision Union. It’s the yew-Kay
they want to quit.
Where does this leave President
Boris?
well, he’s lost his majority andlost control of business at
westchester.
How did that happen?
one Conservative congressman
resigned to join the liberal
democrats this week and 21 more
were kicked out of the party
for voting to prevent President
Boris taking Britain out of the
Eurovision Union without a deal
on october 31.
What happened to ‘no deal is
better than a bad deal’?
They’ve taken that off the table.
They want a deal.
But didn’t you say earlier that
when President May offered them
a deal, they voted against
that three times?
Correct.
So, lemme get this straight,
they’ve voted against a deal
and they’ve also voted against no
deal. Are they crazy?
They’ve also been offered a yuge
free trade deal with America, but
they don’t want that either.
Why not?
They pretend it’s about not
letting the U.S. export chicken
rinsed in chlorine to Englandland.
They say that it’s poisonous,
or something.
But millions of Americans eat
chlorinated chicken every day and
we’re not dropping like flies.
Correct me if I’m wrong, in europe
they eat horses, don’t they?
It’s got nothing to do with
chicken, Chad. They just don’t like
donald Trump.
Heck, I don’t like Donald Trump
either, but that’s not going to
keep me away from a party bucket
of KFC.
let me jump in here, Chad, with
some breaking news. I’m just hear-
ing that Johnson has resigned.
President Boris has resigned?
Hold on. It’s his younger brother,
Jo, who has resigned, not Boris.
He’s a Conservative MP and
minister but he’s also a Remainer
and says he has to put the national
interest above family loyalty.
So he wants to stop Brexit, too?
I guess so, Chad.
We’re running out of time, Brit,
so can you just explain how all
these MPs attempt to justify
trying to overturn the result of the
referendum and preventing
the people having their say by
voting in a General election.
They call it ‘defending
democracy’, Chad. And they
say they’re sticking up for
parliamentary sovereignty, even
though they have now given
Brussels the power to decide
when, or if, and on what terms, the
yew-Kay can leave the EU. which
will be, like, never.
Holy cannoli! What the Sam
Hill is going on over there?
Westchester is supposed to be
the Mother of Parliaments. This
is the country that gave us
universal suffrage, Winston
Churchill, Mrs Thatcher and
Magnus Carter. Sounds to me
more of a tinpot banana republic
like Venezuela.
Funny you should mention
Venezuela, Chad. If Jeremy
Corden ever does become
President, the yew-Kay will end
up exactly like Venezuela.
And they have the goddam
nerve to sneer at the way we run
our democracy.T
RYING to make sense of
the Brexit debacle is
maddening enough, even
if you live here. So imagine
what the shenanigansover the past few days must look
like from overseas.
To find out, it’s time once again to cross
to our U.S. affiliate, eye Witness News, in
Palm Beach...
GOOD morning, America, how are you?
This is your favourite son, Chad Hanging,
with another fair and balanced three hours
of news you can use. While we’ve been
hunkering down in the face of Hurricane
Dorian, there’s been plenty of turbulence
on the other side of the pond, in Jolly Old
englandland. Let’s go live to London,
where our special correspondent Brit
Limey has been following events.
Good morning, Chad. I’m standing
here on Collard Green, the media village
opposite the Palace of westchester,
cradle of British democracy.
You’ll have to speak up, Brit. I can
hardly hear you. There’s a lot of noise in
the background.
That’ll be the pro-Eurovision demon-
strators, Chad. They’ve been camped out
here 24/7 for the past three years, waving
flags and shouting through loud-hailers.
What are they doing there?
They want to stop Brexit.
I thought the Yew-Kay voted for Brexit
over three years ago.
They did, but it still hasn’t happened.
Why not?
It’s a long story, Chad. Basically, most
of the MPs — that’s what they call
congressmen here in westchester — don’t
want to leave the Eurovision Union.
So they’ve done everything they can to
stop it.
But didn’t they promise to respect the
result of the referendum?
yes, they did, but they didn’t mean it.
So they lied to the British people?
That’s a big Ten-four, Chad.
I thought President Maggie May said
that Brexit would mean Brexit.
She did. She also said that no deal
was better than a bad deal. But she
didn’t mean that either. She came
back from Brussels with a bad deal that
nobody liked.
What was the problem?
Something to do with a bus stop on the
island of Irelandland and having to build
a wall in the sea.
How was that supposed to work?
like President Trump’s wall on the
Mexican border, I guess. She tried to get
her deal through the House of westchester
The problem is the bus stop
on the island of Irelandland