Spotlight - 11.2019

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Cartoons: © 2019 Scott Hilburn/Distributed by Universal Uclick/Bulls Press; © 2019 PEANUTS Worldwide LLC, Dist. by Andrews McMeel Syndication/Bulls Press

Spotlight 11/2019 THE LIGHTER SIDE

Risky business

A doctor is examining a cowboy who has

come in with a back problem. “Have you

had any recent accidents?” the doctor

asks. “Nope,” replies the cowboy. “That’s

strange,” says the doctor. “I thought a

cowboy’s job was relatively dangerous.”

“It sure is,” says the cowboy. “Last week,

I was kicked by a mule, thrown by a horse

and bitten by a snake.” “And you don’t call

those accidents?” asks the doctor. “No,

sir,” replies the cowboy. “Those varmints

did it on purpose.”

THE LIGHTER SIDE

The Argyle Sweater

Peanuts by Charles M. Schulz

by Scott Hilburn

Lost money

A boss

announces to

his workers,

“I’ve lost an

envelope with

€500 in it. If you

find it, I’m

offering a

reward of €100.”

A voice in the

background

says, “I’m

offering €200.”

Compiled by Owen Connors

Got to go

A dentist is working on a female patient’s teeth,

when he asks her if she would mind screaming very loudly.

She does so and then asks why. “Well, my train is leaving in 30

minutes,” he replies, “and the waiting room is full.”

“I find that ducks’

opinion of me is greatly

influenced by whether or

not I have bread.”

Mitch Hedberg (1968–2005), American comedian

Cat laughs

A man is driving down a street

when a cat runs out in front

of his car. There is a bump, and

the man stops. Sure enough,

the cat is dead. Suddenly, a

little old lady runs out of a

house across the street. “My

little Felix!” she cries out.

“You’ve killed him!” “I’m

terribly sorry,” the man says.

“Can I replace him for you?”

“Well,” says the old lady, look-

ing carefully at the man, “how

are you at catching mice?”

Job interview

A manager is interviewing a

nervous candidate for a job at

a company. “If you could have

a conversation with someone,

living or dead, who would it be?”

the manager asks. The candidate

looks worried and replies,

“the living one”.

mind [maInd]

, hier: etw.

dagegen haben

mule [mju:l]

, Maultier

nope [nEUp] ifml.

, nee, nö

reward [ri(wO:d]

, Belohnung

varmint

[(vA:mInt]

N. Am. ifml.

, Schädling,

Miststück