Los Angeles Times - 07.09.2019

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L.A. AFFAIRS

M

y mom always
had a sense of
humor. Be-
fore she
moved in with
me over 10
years ago at
age 80, she told me she would not
meet anyone I was dating until I
had been out with them at least
three times. Because, she felt,
what’s the point?
At that point, I had been single
for many years after a second failed
marriage. I enjoyed dating, but I
was also busy with a career, trav-
eling, family, friends, sorority sis-
ters, an active book club, etc. I
always felt I would eventually meet
that special person. I just hadn’t
gone around the right corner, or
the moon and stars hadn’t yet lined
up in the sky. I even had a prayer I
would say from time to time in
hopes of someday crossing paths
with The One.
I did online dating off and on.
Potential dates through friends,
family and co-workers were scarce.
Online dating allowed me to widen
my search and to meet men from
various walks of life. And as the
years went by, I entered the senior
dating sites. Although I met some
interesting men, none was a long-
term prospect.
Mom, meanwhile, was always
practical and had a positive out-
look on life. The only time I remem-
ber seeing her cry was when the
love of her life died after over 50
years of marriage. She and my
father were college sweethearts
and had enjoyed a long and happy
marriage.
Mom had lived in her own house
in Irvine for a number of years after
Dad died. So when she moved in
with me in Long Beach, I decided
to remodel my home to make it
comfortable for her. When I remod-
eled my master bathroom, she
suggested I put in two sinks in-
stead of one as I had planned.
When I was buying one lounge
chair for my bedroom, she said:
“Buy two.”
Little did I know at the time
that Mom had a vision I would
indeed meet that special someone.
Mom was an avid reader of
Women’s World. She would always

point out articles she thought I

should read — from health tips to

makeup and fashion suggestions.

One day she called me into her

bedroom and said there was an

article that suggested that wearing

a red dress for your online dating

profile picture would attract more

potential dates.

Couldn’t hurt. When I looked

back on my old profile picture, I

realized that the colors I typically

wore — browns, blacks, navy and

grays — did not “pop.” I also was

not “smiling” with my eyes. (I

remember Mom told me once

when she looked at my old pictures

from elementary school, “Your eyes

are not ‘smiling.’ ”)

A grin just does not project in a

dating profile.

So I followed my mother’s ad-

vice and submitted a new profile

picture with me wearing a red

dress, hair done up. I hit the send

button and, wow, Women’s World

was spot on. I instantly received

multiple inquires, but one stood

out from the rest. Dennis was a

widower, this was his first time on

Match.com, and he had recently

moved to California from Silver

Springs, Md., and its sometimes

harsh winters. (Dennis’ sister

persuaded him to move to South-

ern California, where she and his

brother lived. He was retired, so he

sold his house and relocated.) We

exchanged phone numbers and he

called the next day.

He asked if we could meet Sat-

urday. I suggested Shoreline Vil-

lage in Long Beach. I suggested 2

p.m. because this would give me a

chance to make my sorority meet-

ing. (I wasn’t sure I wanted to

completely rearrange my schedule

for him. In the back of my mind I

had one major concern: He lived in

Chino. It seemed like an awfully

long distance from Long Beach.)

I was excited about our meet-

ing, though. Well, he called that

Saturday about 11 a.m., and said he

was already at Shoreline Village,

and asked if we could meet early.

I asked him why he was so early,

and he said that he was just overly

eager to meet me.

“Wow,” I thought to myself,

“that’s a first.”

I skipped the sorority meeting

and headed to the Yard House.

I was about to enter the restau-

rant when this tall, handsome man

almost knocked me over as he

came racing up to open the door for

me.

Our eyes met, and there was an

immediate connection. This might

sound strange, but I felt I was

home. He quickly put me at ease. I

instantly felt I had met my soul

mate. At our table, we discussed

faith, family, movies, theater, fish-

ing and his love

of dancing.

I love to

dance too.

Six months

later we were

married, just

days before my

70th birthday.

We spent our

honeymoon in

Maui.

The wed-

ding was small

but elegant and

held in my

home. I was

married in a

pretty royal

blue dress I

found online. A

close friend

with a great eye

for decorating turned the house

into a wedding wonderland. Flow-

ers were everywhere. The ceremo-

ny was held in front of the fireplace.

Dennis’ playlist was the back-

ground music.

Mom was there, of course, along

with close family and friends. She

was thrilled to give her blessing to

our union and felt proud she had

played a part in our meeting by

getting me to put on that red dress.

Mom died four months after we

married, at 93. Her two oldest

friends later shared with me that

she felt like she was leaving every-

one in order, including me.

She was thrilled with Dennis.

She had broken her rule, meeting

Dennis after only our first date.

The author is a retired Long

Beach Unified School District

administrator.

Mom told me to try a red dress

By Sheila Fields Dozier

Irene RinaldiFor The Times

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