Send us your original
jokes! You could earn $50
and be featured in the
magazine. See page 10
or rd.ca/joke for details.“Mick Jagger,” I told
him.
“I’ll tell mom,” he
answered.
— RYAN MILLER,
Moncton, N.B.
We were at the cottage
watching old movies.
One of them, The Ter-
minal, had Tom Hanks
stranded in an airport
because of a problem
with his travel visa. I
could see the wheels
turning as my son
Devin, who was eight
at the time, turned to
me and asked, “Why
doesn’t he just use his
MasterCard?”
—JESSICA TAYLOR-SULLIVAN,
St. Catharines, Ont.
I don’t know what kind
of life I envisioned
myself having at this
age, but watching a
half-naked toddler lick
the frosting off a Pop-
Tart while sitting on my
chest at 5:45 a.m. was
almost definitely not a
part of it.
— @DADANDBURIED
When our son Taiga was
three, my husband was
working a night shift.
During the day, if we
were at home, Taiga
knew we needed to be
quiet because Daddy
was sleeping. We read
a lot of books about
animals and nature.
A couple nights after
learning about noctur-
nal animals, Taiga
turned to me and
asked: “Mommy, is
Daddy nocturnal?”
— KIRSTEN MANLEY-
CASIMIR, To r o n t oSix-year-old: [yelling]
Mom! I stubbed my foot
thumb!
Me: Your what?
Six-year-old: My foot
thumb! [points to big
toe]
Me: Oh, your BIG toe!
Six-year-old: WHAT-
EVER!
— @DOMESTICGODDSSMe: What are you doing?
Three-year-old: Ta k i n g
a bath.Me: Why are you in the
sink?
Three-year-old: Ta k i n g
a bath!
Me: ...
Three-year-old: ...
Me: Remember to wash
your hair.
— @PARENTNORMALThree-year-old: Can we
go to the farm for lunch?
Me: ...
Three-year-old: Daddy
takes us to the farm.
Me: Um, do you mean
McDonalds?
Three-year-old: Ye s.
— @ANDWHATAMOMMy son’s begging to be
home schooled so he
can “take a really long
lunch break,” and, like,
that’s valid.
— @VALEEGRRLMy two-year-old referred to her coat
pockets as “snack holes,” and this is what
I shall forever call them.
— @REBECCACAPRARArd.ca 49