Reader\'s Digest Canada - 10.2019

mind started to race. I rapidly sorted

through the people to whom this bad

news might be connected: had some-

thing happened to my 82-year-old

father? No, that would result in a call

from one of my three sisters. This was

Patricia Shirakawa, Phil’s stepmother,

calling; it had to be about Phil’s dad,

Kevin. That was it, I decided. Had to

be. But why would Patricia call while

we were doing a live radio show in

another country to tell us about one of

our in-laws?

Shoulders slumped, Rob was sitting

on a bench opposite the front desk.

As I approached him, I couldn’t see

his face; the lights were low. The only

sounds were of birds and tree frogs.

“Is Kevin okay?” I asked him gently.

Rob responded, “It’s Lauren.”

“Lauren?” I asked. “What’s hap-

pened? What is it?”

Looking up at me, tears on his face

and his voice choked and high, he said

the words he knew would deliver as

much pain to me as he had only just

begun to bear: “She died in her sleep.”

ARRANGEMENTS WERE MADE for Rob

and me to return to Toronto that

afternoon. My listeners were familiar

with Lauren, both as my daughter and

in her own right as a radio host in

Ottawa, and as the day went on, com-

passionate tweets were posted and the

news was shared on morning break-

fast TV shows. Across the country, our

daughter’s death was included in news

crawls and website feeds. This public

outpouring of grief set the tone for a dis-

play of sadness that would continue for

weeks. Once the initial disbelief wore

off, a cloak of grief would serve as an

immense source of warmth, comfort

and strength for us.

In the days ahead, I had a spectacu-

lar life to celebrate in two cities—both

full of Lauren’s friends and admirers—

and plans to make in order to do just

that. I also had my mourning husband

to console and support, and the shared

job of figuring out what we were going

to do, moving forward with our lives as

people who are no longer parents, who

no longer have a child to carry their

name, their dreams, their genes into a

future without them.

It’s strange how these things come

at you when your mind stops churning

and the facts of your new life start to

THE CORONER WAS AT A LOSS TO EXPLAIN

HOW AN OTHERWISE HEALTHY 24-YEAR-OLD

WOMAN COULD SIMPLY STOP BREATHING.

reader’s digest

94 october 2019