Reader\'s Digest Canada - 10.2019

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Everything about Lauren’s passing

defied logic: the fractured lines of the

natural order wherein a parent is

expected to die before their offspring;

the sudden, freakish and fatal thunder-

storm that struck her down in the

midst of what would have appeared

to be the sunniest time in her life.

Nothing about her death was expected

or understood.

Crime-procedural television dra-

mas have conditioned us to expect

answers in an hour. But life, as we

have all come to know, rarely mirrors

television, and anyone involved in the

real world of crime-solving will tell

you that scientific investigation is nec-

essarily painstakingly slow. Although

a crime was never suspected, our sit-

uation would be no different: it would

be months before we could hold the

coroner’s report in our hands. And

had ours been the storyline of a TV

show, no writer would have conjured

up such an inconclusive final scene

(not if they expected to be hired

again). We were given no explana-

tions, only possibilities.

Today we find ourselves in the

uncomfortable but inescapable place

of not knowing the answers to our

questions about what killed our daugh-

ter. But we hope we will gradually

come to a place of peace in under-

standing that we cannot always know

why. It is not a matter of “closure,” a

word that gets used so very often after

the death of a loved one.

No, knowing how she died will never

explain to us why she had to be taken

from us at such a young age—or at all.

Things happen in life that we simply

have to accept (or lose our minds), and

all we can do is take what we have

been given, make the best of every-

thing within our power, love and

appreciate her son for the gift that he

is and keep living in a way that hon-

ours his mother’s memory: with

laughter, with love and with the occa-

sional well-placed expletive. Because

honestly, can you blame us?

WE CALLED THE shock that befell us

after losing Lauren a blessing and,

really, we did feel grateful to be in that

numb state for a while. Often we would

say, “Boy, if this ever wears off and

what has happened really sinks in,

we’re in big trouble!” But the layer of

ALL WE CAN DO IS KEEP LIVING IN A

WAY THAT HONOURS LAUREN’S MEMORY:

WITH LAUGHTER AND WITH LOVE.

reader’s digest

96 october 2019