By Elaine Smookler
Thuddd. That was the sound my
body made when it slammed against
the mat.
Along with being a mindfulness
teacher and psychotherapist, I am
also an actor. Once upon a time, much
to everyone’s surprise, I was hired
with no prior experience to do a stunt
in a commercial. I had to launch
myself off a trampoline and appear to
fly across a table as I plucked a pear
from someone’s hand. The stunt ends
with a face-plant on a thin mat. At
first, I felt insecure and uneasy. But
with the promise of a paycheck and
a healthy dose of curiosity compel-
ling me forward, I dove in, literally
and figuratively. By the end of the
rehearsal I was covered with bruis-
es—and I felt great! I had pushed far
beyond my skill set and comfort level.
It took grit, determination, and sur-
render, and I was, for a brief moment,
a stunt actor. I’d never been happier.
When I was younger and I imag-
ined finding happiness, body slams
for a TV commercial is not what
came to mind. I was sure happiness
would be the by-product of becom-
ing an award-winning actor who was
gorgeous, rich, and adored, living a life
of luxury and ease. Sigh. It does sound
pretty good. As it turns out, between
working as an independent artist for
decades, going through cancer, facing
my credit card bills, and dealing with
all the little pains and strains of being
human, my life hasn’t been all that
comfortable. Yet, when I look back on
the moments when I’ve been happiest,
they haven’t been times when life felt
effortless and simple, but moments
when I have met challenges and come
out the other side. From moving to a
new city to training as a psychothera-
pist, angst and difficulty have often led
me to richness and fulfillment. In all
my years, through all the ups and →
Why Happiness Isn’t
Always Comfortable
We assume being happy comes from living a stress-free life. But does it?
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Elaine Smookler is a registered
psychotherapist with a 20-year mindfulness
practice. She is a senior faculty member at the
Centre for Mindfulness Studies in Toronto.
28 mindful August 2019
inner wisdom
PH
OT
OG
RA
PH
BY
JE
FF
RE
Y^ C
OO
LID
GE
/^
GE
TT
Y^ I
MA
GE
S