[Afterwards, the 64 guests,
who included Ivar’s three daugh-
ters from his first marriage, drank
Pol Roger and were serenaded by a
gospel choir. And the best man?
That was none other than Penny,
who has given the new couple her
fullest support.
Only ten years ago, for a member
of the Royal family to come out as
gay and remarry to a man would
have been unimaginable. But things
are changing fast. This summer,
Prince William said it would be
‘absolutely fine by me’ if one of his
children was gay, and would ‘fully
support any decision they make’.
It’s a sign of the speed at which
public attitudes to gay equality
have changed more broadly that
Ivar and James say they have yet to
receive a single negative reaction
from anyone. ‘When I mentioned
it to Ella [Ivar’s eldest daughter]
she was very cool about it,’ he says.
‘All her friends go on weekends
where they snog each other, boy or
girl, then go back and tell each
other. I think that generation are
just totally unfazed by it all.’
What about the older genera-
tion? Ivar’s mother, Janet, 81, has a
reputation for being somewhat
formidable. ‘The older generation
of my family have seen and done it
all before. They were quite way-
ward in the 1940s. My aunt Nada
[Nadejda Mountbatten, 2nd Mar-
chioness of Milford Haven] was a
lesbian. You’ve got to try every-
thing once, that’s what my mother
always said.’
Has Ivar’s decision to come out
been good for the Royal family?
‘Well, you would hope so!’ he
laughs. ‘But then they don’t really
talk about it. I mean, the royals,
they don’t communicate very well.’
We are sitting in the small but
elegant library at Bridwell, which
has been Ivar’s home for more than
20 years. He bought it in 1997
with Penny, after downsizing from
Moyns when Ella was just one. She
was followed by Alexandra in 1998
and Louise in 2002. The house is a
handsome pedimented home that
perfectly lends itself to large-scale
entertaining. A bright yellow oval
entrance hall leads on to two
symmetrical sitting rooms and a
large, contemporary grey dining
room. Framed photographs of royal
occasions, such as a picture of the
Queen and Ivar on the royal yacht
Britannia, give clues as to who lives
here, but otherwise the style is clas-
sic and neutral. Adjoining the
main house is a light-filled con-
servatory which can seat 50 for
lunch or dinner, and away from
the main house is a wisteria-clad
SECOND TIME
AROUND
Right, Ivar and
James with Ivar’s
daughters; from
left, Ella, Louise
and Alex, and
Rosie the dog.
Left, family
portraits and
heirlooms by the
mantelpiece
Tatler October 2019 tatler.com
From left, Ella wears jumpsuit, £3,700, by
RALPH LAUREN COLLECTION. James
wears shirt, £145; tuxedo, £895, both by
GIEVES & HAWKES. Bow tie, £110, by
MARWOOD. Shoes, James’ own. Ivar
wears tuxedo, £895, by GIEVES &
HAWKES. Shirt, £245, by BUDD. Bow
tie, £110; pocket square, £65, both by
MARWOOD. Shoes, Ivar’s own. Louise
wears dress, £1,970, by ALESSANDRA
RICH. Jewellery, Louise’s own. Alex wears
jacket, POA, by BLUMARINE. Trousers,
POA, by DOLCE & GABBANA. Shoes,
£595, by JIMMY CHOO
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