THIS MONTH’S
HITS & MISSES
BY → MARC SNETIKER @MARCSNETIKER
Taylor Swift
releases
Lover, or as
Riverdale’s music
department
calls it,
DEFCON 5.To stop fans
from crashing set,
the Obi-Wan Kenobi
prequel is using the
code name “Ben
Kenobi prequel.”Pretty brave
for two more
Starks to join the
MCU after what
happened to the
last one.25th James
Bond movie
officially titled No
Time to Die, which
explains why they’re
getting the cast of
Rent to do the
theme song.Everyone:
“2019 is scary.”
Masked Singer
season 2: “Hold
our beer.”Litigation:
the only
thing Spidey
couldn’t
senseThe saddest
housewife to
exit New York
since MelaniaSean Spicer’s
Dancing With the
Stars score expect-
ed to be first time
he won’t have to lie
about an amount
of zeros. And they
said Kylie
Jenner’s lip
kit had no
celebrityfans.
Turns out
a book is
no longer the
slowest way to
experience The
Goldfinch.To adapt for
modern audi-
ences, The Matrix
4 will offer Neo the
choice between
red pill, blue pill,
and Xanax.Feldstein movie
Merrily We Roll Along to
be filmed over 20 years,
because you’re not a
theater kid until you’ve
made everyone watch
decades-old footage
of you singing.The last
time a plucky
Swedish sensa-
tion invaded the
U.S., Mamma
Mia! ran for
14 years.Behind
every good
Politician
is a Goop
politician.Star Wars IX
trailer reveals
pivotal scene in
which Rey finally
joins Twitter.Martin Scorsese
sets 210-minute
run time for The
Irishman; Academy
officially reclassifies
Taxi Driver as
animated short..siht par llits
nac nosrep
eno ylno
sraey ytnewt
ylraen retfAJ. Lo’s
best movie
in years.
(We took
a pole.)