Ittoqqortoormiit: say what?
Pronounced It-oh-cor-tor-mid (Itto
for short), this tiny town lies four
degrees north of the Arctic Circle
on Greenland’s frozen east coast.
With temperatures averaging –10°C
in November, a population of around
452 (not including the polar bears...)
and sparse wifi, it’s ideal if you fancy
boldly going where (almost) no one’s
gone before. It’s so remote, planes
don’t fly there. Instead, you arrive
into Constable Point and take
a 15-minute helicopter ride over
views so beautiful they rendered
me speechless (no mean feat). Seeing
the locals’ modest primary-colour-
painted houses, the untouched snowy
fjords and icy sea was mesmerising.
Until... “Welcome to nowhere,” the
helicopter pilot announced as we
landed. Gulp
“Nowhere”? Sounds scary...
Don’t panic. I wasgreeted
by Mette and Åge,
owners of Itto’s only
guesthouse, with
the friendliest
smiles ever.
Åge loaded
my bags in his
snowmobile and
off we zoomed to
the Guesthouse
inn (don’t fight the
moment you were trudging around
like the Michelin Man in two layers
of thermal everything, sharing a hot
chocolate with Inuits, did you even
really go to Ittoqqortoormiit?Anything less Frozen?
Yes! Iceland’s only a short flight away.
Head to capital city Reykjavik and
check into uber-cool Exeter Hotel by
Keahotels. Take a walking tour, grab
lunch at Iceland’s famous hotdog
stand, Bæjarins Beztu Pylsur, then dine
on fresh char at Grillmarkadurinn.
Next, hit the Blue Lagoon geothermal
spa to unwind, ply your pores with
mud and sip on local Gull pale ale.
Enjoyed the spa and beer mash-up?
Visit the city of Akureyri for a
Bjorbodin Beer Spa. You’ll spend
25 minutes bathing in a hot tub
of hops and another 25 lying in a
dimly lit room listening to music.
Surreal? Yes. Will you want to recreate
thisathome? Absolutely. ◆Get me there
Guesthouse in Ittoqqortoormiit, from
around £66 per night; Exeter Hotel
by Keahotels in Reykjavik, from £136
per night; Hotel Kea by Keahotels in
Akureyri, from £88 per night, all at
Hotels.com. To book activities in Itto,
visit Nanutravel.dk. Bjorbodin Beer
Spa, from around £50; Bjorbodin.is.
For more information, head to
Visitgreenland.comchecked into
the world’s most
remote hotel, in
Ittoqqortoormiit...
STEPH
JACKSON...
urge to post the drive to your Story
with Ice, Ice Baby as the soundtrack),
which has, in order of importance:
heating, six bedrooms, two kitchens,
a lounge/diner and two bathrooms.
It’s basic, but cosy and sufficient.
The town is low-key, too – but in
the best way. There’s a supermarket,
school, gym, church and town hall.
No restaurants or bars, but you’ll
be too busy snowmobiling, dog-
sledding and checking for the
Northern Lights to need those.Ultimate status update?
For the tame: a photo with the locals
at sunset, post-dog-sledding. For the
adventurous: a mid-snowmobile-ride
video. I opted for both, but the latter
meant my hands didn’t work for two
hours afterwards. Seriously – the
wind means temperatures plummet
to around -25°C (an anti-freeze case
for your phone is essential). But it’s
allworthit – if youdon’tcapturethe132 ·^ COSMOPOLITAN
Ittoqqortoormiit’s
Guesthouse Blue Lagoon: our
favourite spa named
after a boybandMAIN PHOTOGRAPH @FROCKMEIMFAMOUS. ADDITIONAL PHOTOGRAPHS GETTY IMAGES, @ISLANDOYSTER, G ADVENTURES INC, ALAMY, BROOKSWALKER.NET. *ACCESSIBLE FROM MAY TO OCTOBERNo, that’s
not a typo