tioning omerta over the whole business.
The Federation of Bloodstock Agents has a
voluntary code of practice, but while many
Felice spoke to confirmed malpractices and
identified individuals responsible for them
in private, not one official complaint has
been recorded and some agents are not FBA
members.
This isn’t new. Back in 2004, when similar
complaints were aired, a senior Newmarket
figure noted that a number of people felt that
if they shifted a horse from one person to
another and ‘nicked some money out of the
deal’ then they were charging a legitimate
commission ‘when in fact what they were
doing amounted to simple theft’. You can
see how a few are tempted: in their highly
competitive world many trainers struggle to
make an adequate living from training fees
and prize money alone: how else to augment
that income other than with betting and the
profits from selling on horses whose poten-
tial they have developed? But at the end of
the day racing depends on enough compar-
atively well-off people being willing to dig
deep in their pockets to become racehorse
owners. If they feel they are being ripped
off by the racing community they will spend
their money instead on racing cars, canal
boats or cruises. You will never stamp out
every little bit of chicanery but by policing
the buying and selling of racehorses effec-
tively and forcing every agent to register
with a BHA empowered with sanctions, you
can change the overall culture.
Take ‘luck money’. Luck money seems
to have originated in the old custom of put-
ting silver into a newborn child’s hand to
ensure ‘luck’ for the giver and good fortune
for the child. In sheep and cattle markets
it still happens in some areas — shepherds
buying for their employers’ flocks regard
luck money as a natural perk, others see it
as an expected reward for not haggling over
the price of a heifer or bullock. One con-
tributor to a Horse & Hound correspond-
ence said that if a horse purchased at a sale
went wrong or hurt the new owner the ‘luck
money’ would ensure that you could not
curse the seller for the misfortune — it was
a kind of supernatural insurance. But I am
just about to replace my dilapidated car. I
won’t be expecting BMW to pay me ‘luck
money’ for any shiny new replacement and
what is the difference?
Racing has enough problems to sort out
in the near future: the rumbling controversy
over use of the whip, problems with horse
movements after a no-deal Brexit, chronic
labour shortages and a loss of Levy income
from the closing of betting shops. The least
the BHA needs to do after winning approv-
al from the other stakeholders in the racing
industry is to seize on this particular dis-
incentive to get into horse ownership and
sort out the shadier elements of racehorse-
dealing. Hopefully it will be followed by the
authorities in Ireland.The turf
Robin Oakley
Carried away on a day at the races a suc-
cessful businessman bid for and bought a
horse from a seller. ‘What do I do now?’
he asked a trainer friend. ‘Find the lad
who brought him here, slip him 20 quid
and ask him to tell you everything he can
about the animal.’ The crinkly stuff safely
pocketed, the lad’s response was succinct:
‘He’s bloody hard to catch out in the field
and when you do catch him he’s no bloody
good.’ In the hope of avoiding such scenar-
ios most people buy horses from reputable
sales, and/or employ a bloodstock agent to
guide them through the intricacies of pedi-
gree, breeding and conformation. They may
now think twice about doing so: a report
commissioned by the British Horseracing
Association and conducted by a senior ex-
policeman into the buying and selling of
bloodstock has revealed that the industry
is ineffectively regulated and scandalously
open to secret profiteering by agents and
vendors at the expense of owners.
Former chief superintendent Justin
Felice, in a report leaked to the Racing Post,
identifies practices by a 5 per cent minori-
ty of ‘rotten apples’ which range from the
immoral and deceitful to the potentially
criminal. With the present arrangements
unfit for purpose he calls for the BHA to
take over regulation of a sadly tarnished
industry worth £430 million to the economy.
The secret profiteering occurs when agents,
unbeknown to the principal, represent two
sides of the same transaction, demand ‘luck
money’ from vendors with the implication
of no further business unless it is paid, and
arrange for the artificial bidding up of pric-
es at the sales. An unscrupulous agent may
learn that a potential owner is prepared to
pay £150,000 for the right horse, agree with
a trainer to pay £100,000 for it and then have
it bid up to £140,000 at the sales, leaving the
owner to think that he has a handy ‘sav-
ing’ of £10,000 while the dodgy agent and
the trainer connive to split the difference of
£40,000. All that on top of the agent’s legiti-
mate fee of 5 per cent. What is particularly
disturbing is the horse-racing world’s func-
N
W E
SBridge^
Janet de Botton
When did ‘literally’ become, literally, the
most annoying word in the English lan-
guage? Fairly recently I would guess, because
‘like’ as in ‘I was like... seriously?’ or ‘that’s
like, so unfair’ was easily winning the title
for many years. ‘Like’ has become a filler,
taking the place of um and er, and generally
making the speaker sound a bit of a moron
but literally (used to) have some authority,
emphasising the slightly unexpected verac-
ity of whatever. No longer. My summer hols
have been spent involuntarily counting how
many L words can be crammed into one sen-
tence. The most was four. And while we’re at
it, what’s ‘reaching out’ all about? Answers
on a postcard please.
On my annual sabbatical from bridge I
came across this hand in a book on Declarer
play:Dealer East All vulWest led his singleton heart and, as is so
often the case, declarer had to do the right
thing at trick one — what would you do?
Look what happens if he wins with the
yK in hand. He tries to draw trumps but
they split 4-1. The best he can do after the
second round of spades is switch to dia-
monds but after cashing XK,Q,J what next?
The yA gives the defence a ruff, 2 clubs and
a slow heart. A third trump to hand to cash
the XA, pitching a heart and continuing
with yA, fares no better (yA — not ruffed
-club to West, fourth trump).
Everything becomes so easy if the first
trick is taken by dummy’s Ace. Declarer lays
down Ace and King of spades, King, Queen,
Jack of diamonds, the zQ and the XA pitch-
ing a heart. Declarer can’t be prevented
from ruffing his losing heart in dummy.
Literally a winner.West North East South
2 y dbl
pass 3y pass 3z
pass 4z All passz A K Q 7
y K 5 4
X A 6 4 3
w 9 2z 2
y Q J 10 9 7 6
X 10 9
w A Q 4 3z 9 8 6 3
y A 8 2
X K Q J
w J 10 8z J 10 5 4
y 3
X 8 7 5 2
w K 7 6 5I could start with Original LamiSafe and
branch out from there. There must be doz-
ens of products banned by Brussels with
which we Brits would love to endanger our-
selves again.