Daily Mail - 28.08.2019

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Daily Mail, Wednesday, August 28, 2019

Swim the Channel? These drips

would panic in a paddling pool!

COMIC GENIUSES OF THE WEEK:

A year before his death in 2016,

Jimmy Perry, creator of Dad’s

Army (Gold), told me his original

plan was to play Private Walker

himself. Co-writer David Croft

wouldn’t allow it. I think they’d

both have loved these remakes.

A

s OMENs go, the

return of the lifeboat

series saving Lives

At sea on BBC2 was

a little worrying, as

11 celebs were getting

ready to tackle the English

Channel in relays on Sink Or

Swim (C4).

None was a strong swimmer.

Former Olympic sprinter Linford

Christie couldn’t even tread water.

Let’s hope they’ve got the RNLI

on speed-dial.

shows like this perform two

laudable services. This one was in

aid of stand Up To Cancer, raising

awareness and funds, with frequent

pleas from the celebrities for

donations by text message.

And the sight of the semi-famous

gamely attempting the near-

impossible may give courage to

people facing cancer treatment.

But the endless attention-seeking

becomes exhausting. Reality TV

has become a hysteria competi-

tion, to discover who can have the

most devastating emotional

collapse on camera.

Georgia Kousoulou from TOWIE

was an early winner, as the sight of

a swimming pool sent her into

paroxysms of anxiety. she was

sobbing and hyperventilating

before her toe touched the water.

Nobody challenged her by asking

if she had similar meltdowns on

bath night. What does she do when

she needs to wash her face —

send herself to Johnsons for

dry-cleaning?

I wouldn’t be unutterably amazed

if somewhere in the TOWIE

archives there’s film of Georgia

relaxing in a hot-tub. But the

producers accepted without

question that she was allergic to

water, and overdubbed sad piano

music when she was on screen.

The sad piano was more than she

could take, and Georgia quit the

show — but not before the others

had reassured her that she was

being ‘weally bwave babes’.

Apparently that’s another require-

ment of D-list celebrity: a lisp.

Another TOWIE alumnus was

simply called ‘Arg’, a man of glib

charm and considerable girth.

Arg’s medical examination revealed

he weighed nearly 24st, and his

body was 50 per cent fat. All I can

say is that the other half was very

well hidden.

Arg appeared to be one of those

rascals who will promise anything

to anyone, even to himself. He

vowed he was going to set about

losing weight, but then he also

vowed he wouldn’t oversleep and

miss his train. Next day, of course,

Sink Or Swim HHIII Revolutions HHHHI

CHRISTOPHER

STEVENS

LAST NIGHT’S TV

he had a lie-in and skipped three

hours of training.

‘All I ask for is forgiveness,’

he said, with a lovably self-

deprecating smile.

At 24st, at least he’ll float. If

swimming doesn’t work, the

others could sit astride him and

paddle to France.

swimming seems one of the

few things robots can’t do. We

saw how they might pilot planes,

compose symphonies and even

walk the dog in the final part

of Revolutions: The Ideas That

Changed The World (BBC4).

This ingenious series has much

in common with the outstanding

technology show Connections,

James Burke’s freewheeling

collection of TV essays about the

overlap of ideas.

Presenter Jim Al-Khalili

introduces a sequence of short

stories from the history of science,

to show how inventions evolved

from ancient times.

Jim began with mechanical

servants created by the Greek

gods, which stretches the defini-

tion of physics a bit, and ended

with a titanium toddler learning

tai chi.

The most intriguing segment

came at the end, as the

programme imagined how

robots might evolve over the

next few decades, sharing their

knowledge with each other until

they are experts at everything.

Fingers crossed they never

develop melodramatic emotions

though. I don’t think I could

cope with robot celebrities.

TELEVISION

innovative, and powered by the grit and

determination of the people behind them.

FILM CHOICES

The Nanny Betrayal, 2.15pm, Ch5

IN TV movies, it rarely bodes well if the

parents hire a nanny, especially when the

husband already has form for cheating.

So, rather than peace and productivity,

the arrival of pretty Amber (Olesya Rulin)

promises seduction, paranoia and, for good

measure, murder.

The World’s End,

9pm, ITV2

FOLLOWING Shaun

Of The Dead and Hot

Fuzz, this sci-fi

horror comedy

reunites Simon Pegg,

Nick Frost and

director Edgar

Wright for a wacky

and increasingly

dangerous pub

crawl. Martin Freeman and Rosamund

Pike are among the cast facing evil alien

robots before their hangovers kick in.

n and Rosamund

CHANNEL 5

6.00 Milkshake! Peppa Pig (R) 6.15 Ben and

Holly’s Little Kingdom (R) 6.30 Olly the Little

White Van (R,HD) 6.35 Noddy: Toyland

Detective (R,HD) 6.45 Fireman Sam (R,HD)

6.55 Thomas & Friends: Big World! Big

Adventures! (R,HD) 7.10 Shane the Chef (R,HD)

7.20 Peppa Pig (R) 7.30 Peppa Pig (R,HD)

7.40 Top Wing (R,HD) 7. 5 5 Paw Patrol (R,HD)

8.05 Digby Dragon (R,HD) 8.25 Little Princess

(R) 8.40 Shimmer and Shine (R,HD) 8.55

Floogals (R,HD) 9.10 Sunny Bunnies (R,HD)

9.15 Jeremy Vine (HD)

11.15 GPs: Behind Closed Doors A boy

has fallen down the stairs. (AD,R,HD)

12.10 5 News Lunchtime (R,HD)

12.15 Celebs on the Farm (R,HD)

1.10 Access (HD)

1.15 Home and Away (AD,HD)

1.45 Neighbours (AD,HD)

2.15 The Nanny Betrayal (2018) (PG) ●

(HD) Thriller, starring Olesya Rulin,

Michelle Borth and Antonio Cupo.

See Critics’ Choice.

4.00 Friends (R,HD)

4.30 Friends (R,HD)

5.00 5 News (HD)

5.30 Neighbours (AD,R,HD) Mark and

Roxy agree to keep their night of

passion under wraps.

6.00 Home and Away (AD,R,HD) Colby

persuades Mackenzie and Rick to

sort out their differences.

6.30 5 News Tonight (HD)

7.00 Concorde: From Triumph To

Tragedy (R,HD) Part two of two.

A look at British Airways’s

attempts in the early Eighties

to make the aircraft profitable

after finding out Concorde was

losing tens of millions a year.

8.00 GPs: Behind Closed Doors

(AD,HD) A man comes into the

surgery with what appears to

be a case of acute appendicitis.

(Followed by 5 News Update)

9.00 Casualty 24/7 (HD) A mini-

heatwave results in an influx of

patients at Barnsley Hospital,

including a 50-year-old man who

has had an accident involving a

garden shredder. Last in series.

10.00 The Death Of Diana: 7 Days

That Shook The Windsors

(R,HD) Documentary following

the aftermath of Princess

Diana’s death in 1997, and

the impact that this tragedy

had on the way people felt

about the royal family in

the years to come.

12.00 Kate v Meghan: Princesses at

War? (R,HD) 1.00 The 21.co.uk

Live Casino Show (HD) 3.00

Access (HD) 3.10 Gotham: Rise

of the Villains (AD,R,HD) 4.00

NCIS (R,HD) 4.45 House Doctor

(BSL,R) 5.10 House Doctor

(BSL,R) 5.35 Wildlife SOS (BSL,R)

(^) ▲ Particularly liable to offend
WELSH TV VARIATIONS
BBC1: 1.30pm BBC Wales Today; Weather. 6.30 BBC
Wales Today; Weather. 7.30 Battle of the Bands —
Our Lives. Documentary following the Cory and
Tredegar brass bands as they prepare to battle it
out at the Welsh Regional Championships in
Wrexham. 10.25 BBC Wales Today; Weather.
ITV: 8.00pm Missing. Three young people are
reported missing in Haverfordwest.
S4C: 6.00am Cyw. 12noon Newyddion S4C a’r
Tywydd. 12.05 Ar y Bysus. 12.30 Heno. 1.00 Iolo ac
Indiaid America. 2.00 Newyddion S4C a’r Tywydd.
2.05 Prynhawn Da. 3.00 Newyddion S4C a’r
Tywydd. 3.05 Fferm Ffactor: Selebs. 4.00 Awr Fawr:
Bing. 4.10 Awr Fawr: Cymylaubychain. 4.20 Awr
Fawr: Jambori. 4.30 Awr Fawr: Octonots. 4.45
Awr Fawr: Sbarc. 5.00 Stwnsh. 6.00 Newyddion
S4C a’r Tywydd. 6.05 Byd o Liw: Arlunwyr. 6.30
Rhannu. 7.00 Heno. 8.00 Pobol y Cwm. 8.55
Chwedloni: Cwpan Rybgi’r Byd. 9.00 Newyddion
9 a’r Tywydd. 9.30 Yr Afon Dywyll: Taith yr Afon.
10.35 Clasuron Cwpan y Byd.
FILM
CHOICE