Happiful – September 2019

I started to believe that I was

a broken person, who was

intrinsically flawed and would

never find happiness

Graeme Orr | MBACP (Accred) UKRCP

Reg Ind counsellor

This experience of
psychosis, along with a
long, intense period of
hyperactive behaviour,
led me to the lowest I had
ever felt. I had to leave the
job I loved, and became
suicidal. It was like my life
had come full circle, and
I felt like that frightened
14-year-old again. I was
exhausted from spending
a decade in a battle with
my mind. I felt there were
no answers, and no hope.
Finally, in December
2012, I was given an
answer: I was diagnosed
with bipolar disorder.
Although the diagnosis
didn’t solve everything,
it showed me I wasn’t
flawed; I was ill.
Eventually I found a
mix of medications that
worked for me, and I
began to experience times

when I felt stable. I started

going to a Bipolar UK

support group, where I

no longer felt alone. The

group discussions helped

me spot the warning signs

and identify that alcohol,

a lack of sleep, and stress

triggered my episodes.

Jimi and I got married in

2015. He is compassionate,
      caring, and the most
      supportive person in my
      life. I feel truly lucky to
      have found someone who
      has taken my illness in his
      stride and been able to see
      beyond it – to see me as a
      person. With his support,
      I’ve been able to accept
      my diagnosis.
      I started writing a blog,
      Stumbling Mind, and I’ve
      found it really therapeutic.
      This lead to me writing
      for charities and websites.
      I’m not afraid to be open

with others, and have

had so much support

from friends, family, and

complete strangers.

Although I can’t work

full-time, writing has

given me a renewed sense

of purpose. I’ve learnt

that although I’ve had to

make adjustments to my

life, I can still live well.

Bipolar doesn’t control

me, and I’m more than a

diagnosis.

Bipolar is a life-long

condition, but it can be

managed with the correct

treatment. I still suffer

from difficult episodes of

mania and depression, but

I’m continually learning

to educate myself and

manage my condition. I

no longer feel frightened

and alone, but instead I

feel in control and positive

about the future.

September 2019 • happiful.com • 39

Katie blogs at stumblingmind.com, and has a podcast,

‘A Life Lived Vividly’, with a focus on hearing voices

OUR EXPERT SAYS

Katie experienced mood

swings and critical

voices from her teenage

years, which impacted

her education and

relationships. Things

improved on meeting her

partner, who helped her

to cope. After getting her

bipolar diagnosis, she

finally found her self-

belief, started receiving

treatment, and met

support groups. Mental

illness can overwhelm us,

and seem like we’re the

only one feeling this way.

But recognising symptoms,

and getting

support can

really change

our lives.